New Year's Eve Kiss Fail: Vomit Splatters Are Not Hot

We are all rational beings, but there's something about New Year's Eve that makes us go crazy.

Being sleep deprived and chubby from Christmas doesn't help.

But, it’s also that we obsessively look back at the fails of last year and make desperate plans for a MUCH better 2015.

Nowhere is New Year's angst more obvious than with the singleton hoping for a kiss at midnight.

For couples, it's a sure thing. You put up with tense moments during Christmas in exchange for a love-affirming snog at midnight, and some very drunk sex later on.

For singles, emotions are mixed.

On the one hand, what could be more exciting than heading out into the unknown and chasing that magical kiss with a stranger?

On the other hand, what if it never happens?? Grim.

Nevertheless, the last thing you want to do is put pressure on yourself.

That’s when things go wrong…

...........

I know a gorgeous girl who is perpetually single.

She has fixed ideas of what she is looking for and dates with caution.

New Year's Eve rolled around a year or two ago and, for once, she had a target in mind.

An international guy in his early 30s, a party boy and a real charmer.

Inviting her to a cocktail thing at his, she roped me in for company.

Flash forward to the big event.

In true New Year style, we necked a bottle of fizz in preparation and left the house totally pissed.

Despite this, she looked elegant as hell - silver dress, grey heels, a touch of sparkle.

Once we arrived, I lost her immediately.

Around 11pm I spied her chatting merrily away to him. It was ON.

As midnight crept closer, the party was in full swing and the crowd legless.

Mr Eligible grabbed her and whispered that he had a stash of champagne in the top room and wanted to share it with her as the clocks turned.

Pinning every hope she had on the kiss, she inhaled a Smint and followed him upstairs.

He gestured towards the door, telling her he'd be back.

Nudging it open she decided to leave the lights off and let the moonlight set the tone.

Psyched up by booze she thought the right thing to do was to lie down on the bed seductively and just smoulder.

Spotting the outline of the bed, she made a leap towards it, a full on body fling.

Only as she was falling did she clock the wet patch in the centre.

But it was too late.

Splat bang wallop into a puddle of vodka-infused vomit.

He burst in with booze and a smile just as she was peeling herself out.

Although they laughed, midnight was spent alone in his shower washing herself clean.

And by 12.20, once the bed was stripped, they agreed to leave the romance for another night.

------------

So, what's the takeaway here?

Watch where you fling yourself? Sure.

But mostly, it is never a good idea to ever pin all of your hopes on one perfect night.

This goes for that NYE kiss, but it also makes sense in lots of other dating situations.

Psyching yourself out before a first date because you need to come across perfectly and make him fall for you the instant you turn up and open your mouth will also likely end in disappointment, caused from all the pressure you've put yourself under.

But also, the idea that you need to ring in the new year with a kiss, even if that means throwing yourself at a person you barely know, is a silly fallacy that you'd do well to forget.

Kissing strangers can be super fun, but you don't need their validation to make yourself feel good going forwards.

[Meeting The Parents: Dress Up, Bring Flowers, Leave The Cocaine At Home]

[Let's Just Split It: A Lesson In Dating Etiquette]

Nana is the newest addition to our Yahoo Lifestyle blogging team. She's runs a bespoke dating service called Social Concierge.