Mum Diary: The baby years are crazy years

Well, I’ve now written this blog for a full year – and what a crazy year it’s been. My baby Olly has transformed from a little red frog with anger management issues into a smiling, nearly-walking, almost-talking one-year old.

And when I say ‘almost talking’, I do mean it; he said his first word this morning. Sadly, his first word was ‘pants’, which makes more sense if you know how much pride my three-year-old Harry takes in his CBeebies-themed underwear.

The changes in Harry are almost as dramatic. He was nearly two when his brother was born and I still remember his look of delight at the hospital. Not delight at the tiny baby but at the new dumper truck that we were claiming the baby had bought him. However, even aged 23 months he looked sceptical at the idea that Olly had been shopping.

Harry has transformed from a baby himself into a little boy. He goes to preschool, talks incessantly, plays games like Hide & Seek, and is very fond of art. As you’ll see from the pictures, his motor skills don’t quite match his enthusiasm, but I know that in another year we’ll get there.

I’ve learned that two children is a very different ball game to one. Harry’s early years were a serene, calm bliss in which two parents read him stories and played with him every spare minute they had. Olly’s early years have been more of a battle for attention and survival – Harry has a slight tendency to shove him over if he accidentally knocks over the Lego.

[Mum Diary: How many babies should one mum have?]
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But despite having a far louder and more chaotic start to life, Olly is blossoming just like his brother did. He has a personality that’s completely different to Harry’s – and it’s been fascinating watching him grow up to be so different and yet so similar.

I’ve learned a lot; particularly about toddlers. Babies are easy; you just keep them warm, clean, fed and cuddled. Toddlers are a balancing act that would make bringing peace to Ukraine look like the easy option. I’ve learnt to distract Harry rather than yell at him to stop. I’ve learnt to make things into games rather than barking instructions.  I’ve learned that when I do tell him off I should always say the action was naughty, rather than that he was naughty or he asks if I still love him.

And I’ve learned that babies are very different, and you have to parent the child you have rather than the one you expected. I used to think that children became what you made them but I was wrong. My two behaved differently even in the maternity ward, so I can see that babies have their own personalities and preferences and that they should be respected.

While all these recent developments and birthdays and milestones make my heart swell up with pride, I also have a vague sense of unease. My babies are growing up fast; soon they’ll be at school and then who will I cuddle at lunchtimes? Nature keeps administering a sort of hormonal cosh that makes me want to ply my husband with wine before casually suggesting we have another baby.

So far, he’s holding out, which is probably a good thing. In fact, he’s suggested that we get a puppy instead, which Harry would definitely prefer to a new sibling. In fact, he’s taken to demanding a puppy up to 20-times an hour (until we distract him with raisins. But that doesn’t seem like a long-term solution).

Overall, a puppy is probably a better idea than another baby just now; three under the age of four is perhaps the only thing crazier than two under the age of two.

I’ll finish this series of my Mum Diary with some wise words from Harry. Last night we asked him what he’s going to be when he grows up. After some thought, he proclaimed: “Bigger than Daddy!” And I know it won’t seem like long before he is.

What changes have happened in your family over the last 12 months? How many young children did you have at once? Share your thoughts and experiences with our writer and other readers using the comments below.