How To: Perfect Your Autumn Dating Profile

If you're single and dating, it's likely you have an online dating profile. But could it actually be hindering your hunt for love?

Do you pour your heart out with your hopes and dreams for the future? Or is all you can manage a quick selfie and a 'feel free to ask if you want to know more' (which seems to be a favourite of male daters)?

I've always tried to be a little bit of both. You know, nice but casual photos, honesty about what I want, and when it comes to choosing what I'd want from potential suitors, I've always kept the height, age and location 'scales' tailored to what I think I'd be happy with.

And so far... Well, so far, not many dates, to be honest.

Hmmm. Time for some help. I don't think I'm doing much wrong, I reckon it's the men who should be chattier. But match.com dating expert Kate Taylor has a lot of home truths that we can all learn from especially at this time of year, which is apparently the season of dating.

"We are used to ordering everything online," she tells me, "so we are used to picking exactly what we want. Online dating doesn't work like that; it can't! We aren't clothes or our next food shop."

Even then, there are surprises to be had, as anyone who's done an online food shop well knows.

So it's time to take on board Kate's suggestions.

And first things first, it's all about good impressions, just like dating in person.

Get a professional photo

What?! This is a dating site! Surely not? Well, here's the reason. Kate says: "Online dating really comes back to the photos. Blokes just grab their photos off Facebook but I'd advise ladies to use a professional shot if you can, as it'll stand out among the 'selfie/casual' shots as men browse profiles.'

If you can't pay for a photo shoot at least style your hair and make up and get a friend to take the shot with a nice background, outdoors if possible, capturing that autumn sunshine. 

Give the 'older' guys a chance

Kate is shocked that I'm looking for a man aged between 36 (my age) and 43 (if I'm honest, an age I've plucked out of the air as I tend not to date men over 40).

"Jenny, searching for men aged between 36 and 43?! You are cutting down the people in your dating pool so massively with these restrictions.

"There could be a man for Jenny who is 44 and lives 16 miles away - don't write them off. Widen the search area too!"

Relate your search criteria to how you’d search in real life, Kate says. Would you dismiss all the men aged 43 and over in a bar? Probably not. "If Amal Alamuddin had done that online, she wouldn't have just married George Clooney!" Kate adds. Well, when you put it like that...

And don't be so fussy about their past...

I'm also told to widen search to include divorced men, as well as toning down my 'I want children' vibe. Ladies, don't be OTT about your plans for the rest of your life. Again, would you walk into a bar, go up to a man, and introduce yourself by saying: "Hi, I'm Jenny and I want marriage and kids"? Thought not.

Kate says: "The goal here is not to be chatting to lots of men but to be going on lots of first dates with men who might not be in your perfect criteria but getting to know them in person and seeing how that goes.'

But how do I know he wants the same things as me?

As Kate's said, this is about ticking a few boxes then meeting up asap. That's a common mistake - thinking it has to be a perfect match on 'paper' and then talking online for days or even weeks.

Kate adds: "Paying to use a dating website attracts a different kind of person. A site where you don't pay is a bit like Ebay for singles - people whack their profile up thinking 'what have I got to lose'.

"When it comes to getting your card out and paying for the site it's a commitment, and so you don't need to be too full on about wanting to settle down. The men on Match might not tick 'wants to marry' but by paying to be on the site they're showing they have a certain level of commitment to finding someone.

Remember when someone's creating their profile, they DON'T always know what they're looking for. I don't want you to think a man isn't looking for something serious because he hasn't ticked 'wants marriage and children'.

Kate's comments are common sense but they probably give us all a lot to think about. I might be widening my search criteria and tracking down a mate with a good camera, and if your profile doesn't seem to be working, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate and spruce it up to get the most out of the dating season ahead.

[Meet The Woman 'Too Pretty' To Find Love Online]
[A Massive Engagement Ring = A Shorter Marriage?]