A Facebook Wedding: Should You Social Media Marriage?

If it’s not on social media, it hasn’t happened. It sounds stupid, but in this day and age, you know in your heart it’s kind of true.

Which is why, I’m guessing, according to new stats the MAJORITY of brides (56 per cent) change their marital status and surname on Facebook within 24 hours of getting hitched.

Some, do it during the wedding itself.

Say, what?

Call me idealistic but I’m really hoping that on my wedding day (and hey, perhaps for the 24 hours afterwards) I’ll have something a bit better to do than erase my former self and pump out my new identity on Facebook*.

Social media has been creeping into the wedding sphere for some time, with the rise of wedding photo sharing apps and some couples even creating their own hashtag to help them find photos/feel important.

[Can you have a feminist wedding?]
[Help! I hate all wedding dresses]

So it’s come down to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to make a stand. Yes really. The celeb couple with perhaps the least sense of good taste in the world has reportedly decided to ban mobile phones from their wedding, so people can’t plaster slightly wonky photos of them all over Instagram for the world to see and/or judge.

I’m as surprised as you that I’m agreeing with Kimye, but they’ve got a point.

Fellow bride-to-be, Yahoo Celebrity editor Nikki Barr isn’t going as far as taking guests’ mobiles out of their hands on arrival, but is banning social media from her wedding.

“I want the guests at our wedding to be having fun, not trying desperately to find the right Instagram wash when they could be dancing,” she explains.

“There's also a weird culture of people wanting to be the first to put up pictures of the wedding dress, which I find a bit rude. It's quite a personal occasion and I don't think it's anyone's place to start seeding that out on social.”

[There is NO SUCH THING as an original wedding. Forget it]
[I'm sorry my wedding will cost you a FORTUNE]

At any event, gluing yourself to Twitter, Facebook and Instagram takes you out of the moment. And as this is a set of once-in-a-lifestyle moments, surely it’s better to be really present, even if you don’t manage to get a grainy snap from the eighth row that perfectly captures the detail on the back of the bride’s dress?

Couples employ ridiculously expensive photographers to snap from every angle, so they really don’t need your candid photography - except maybe for at the party later on, by which time high pixel cameras are probably not going to be quite so desirable.

And it goes two ways. In the run up to a wedding, brides might be desperate to post about our florist frustrations on Facebook but we must keep schtum. It's so dull for everyone else and we will only end up on STFUcouples.

On the other hand, how cool would a wedding hashtag of your own be?

Don’t get me wrong, I am a social media hound. I will hold up my hand and admit I Instagrammed two shots of my best friend’s recent wedding (though not until the day after) and I took along my camera and snapped away to my hearts content (or at least until I had too much wine to know which way up to hold the camera).

And who doesn’t love to browse through photos of other people’s weddings? (Just me?). Plus our lives revolve around these apps and it’s hard to shake the desire for people to make a bit of a fuss about your big day.

But perhaps it’s time to create a social media wedding etiquette list, because the research by David’s Bridal found that brides-to-be have plenty of opinions when it comes to socialing their weddings.

Almost two thirds will ask their bridesmaids not to post any pictures of the wedding dress before the ceremony (though surely you shouldn’t have to ask!).

More than half (58 per cent) think it’s up to the bride and groom to post the very first photo of the wedding, but only 22 per cent think that this applies to all the wedding snaps.

And a third would like a wedding video taken so it can go viral.

So what am I going to do? Well thanks a lot Kimye, I hadn’t even vaguely considered this until today, and now I’m OBSESSING.**

But in the process of writing this I have made my decision. I will ban/ask nicely that guests refrain from using social media during the wedding.

After the day, it’s a free for all. But please don’t post any pics of me looking minging. After the photographers go home I’m off duty and the careful bridal façade will no doubt be destroyed by a few Sambuca shots.

That’s the guests’ special reward for giving up their Friday to come to my wedding. It doesn’t belong on Facebook, no matter how nice a wash you use.

*Still no idea about the name thing
**Not that I'm comparing my wedding to that of the most famous couple in the world

The New Social Media Wedding Etiquette Rules

1.    DO NOT post pictures of the bride or dress before the ceremony
2.    DO NOT post ugly pictures of the bride and groom (If in doubt, email them the shots and they can decide themselves)
3.    DO NOT waste your precious celebrating time on social media. Any posts can be made after the event
4.    DO take loads of pictures of wedding guests, dinner tables and each other. The photographers often won’t bother with these
5.    DO ask the couple if they care about social media posting and tagging, and respect their wishes
6.    DO use a hashtag if requested