Woman Cuts Off Cheating Husband’s Penis. Twice. AKA What Not To Do When You Find Out You’ve Been Cheated On.

An enraged woman in China cut off her husband’s penis TWICE when she found out he had been cheating on her.

Fan Lung, henceforth known as The Dumbest Guy In The World, used his wife Feng’s phone to send explicit emails to his younger lover and in all the illicit excitement forgot to log out of his email account.

Feng stumbled across the offending email along with a host of others and went completely mental.

No really – she apparently grabbed a pair of scissors, ran into the bedroom where her cheating husband was sleeping and cut off his penis.

See? Mental.

Fan was rushed to hospital where his member was surgically reattached but this wasn’t the end of his ordeal.

Feng snuck into the hospital and cut his penis off again and threw it out the window.

Staff were alerted to what had happened when a naked man was seen attacking a woman outside the hospital.

“Staff rushed out to see what was happening and found the patient with blood streaming down his legs hitting the woman,” according to a hospital spokesperson.

“He was stopped and the woman was taken in for treatment, and then we discovered she had chopped his penis off again.”

Despite extensive searching, police and staff were unable to find the twice-cut penis and it was presumed eaten by a stray dog or cat.

Now, even though “If you cheat, I’ll feed your willy to a stray dog” is undoubtedly a powerful deterrent to stop someone doing the dirty, violence of any kind is never the answer.

Instead, if you find out your one and only has been making the beast with two backs with another why not try these methods of revenge…

Follow in one Australian woman’s footsteps and sell your cheating partner’s car. For a fraction of the price. Posting on Revenge Sales, a woman sold her husband’s precious Porsche 911 Carrera worth over £80,000 for just £10,000 – enough to fund a first class trip to Europe to ‘fondle with all the wealthy European men!’

Ebay your partner’s most valuable and ideally irreplaceable possession. So that Liverpool shirt from 2005 signed by Steven Gerrard or her prized Whistles leather jacket that is never coming back in stock. They should do nicely.

Re-enact Blu Cantrell’s 2001 hit ‘Hit ‘Em Up Style’ by grabbing their credit card, as well as your mates Soley and Mia, and running up a huge bill in your favourite shop. Then sell all his worldly possessions, just for the heck of it.

Public humiliation is always a popular choice, as proved by one cuckolded man in the US who found out his wife was sleeping with her personal trainer and put this note up in the gym where he works.

Why not combine revenge with gift giving? After discovering a string of flirty messages sent by her boyfriend via Twitter to another woman, Cassy decided to give the gift of a viral ass-whopping that Christmas. She printed off all the messages, wrapped them up and Snapchatted the moment she gave her boyfriend his ‘present’.

If subtlety is more your thing, there are plenty of ways to get your own back on an unfaithful partner. Is your man an avid gamer? Hack into his favourite game and sabotage his high score.

For a truly 21st century burn, find out the ending or twist in their favourite TV series and stick it at the end of the next innocuous text you send them. Go one further and find out the ending of every cult classic show they haven’t watched yet but ‘have been dying to’ and randomly text them. Yeah, serves you right for pretending to have watched Twin Peaks every time someone with a beard and fixie bike mentions it, YOU’VE HAD 25 YEARS!

For the ultimate in slow torture, take a leaf out of one Amazon reviewer’s book. After his wife ditched him for a wealthy banker she took the dog and the house, which included a thermostat that can be controlled via smartphone – specifically HIS smartphone. In his online review of the product, the user details exactly how he has been putting this remote coontrol to use:

'Since this past Ohio winter has been so cold I’ve been messing with the temp while the new love birds are sleeping. Doesn’t everyone want to wake up at 7 AM to a 40 degree house? When they are away on their weekend getaways, I crank the heat up to 80 degrees and back down to 40 before they arrive home. I can only imagine what their electricity bills might be.'

But of course, the best revenge is simply a life well lived. Failing that, grass them up to their mum. They’ll never hear the end of it.

How did you get revenge on a cheating partner? Let us know in the comments below!

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