Baby Blog: Young Mums Vs Society – Why Is Age Such An Issue When It Comes To Parenthood?

Did you know a woman is at her most fertile at the age of 24?

Nature wants us to have babies when we are 24, it’s when we do it best. However, it would seem that society is at odds with nature. Society wants us to wait.

I'm 25 years old and society definitely has its reservations about my parenting capabilities. When I revealed I was pregnant, my news was received with disbelief. Some people even laughed.

I’m 25, not 15, and yet my life choice seems to be a worry for everyone but me.

You can’t possibly be ‘ready’ for motherhood in your 20s, right? Just look at the trouble Kirsty Allsopp got into recently when she suggested perhaps women should have their children young.

And you know what? People say plain annoying things to us 'young mums'.

A friend of mine said, "It’s only shocking because you aren’t, y’know, from a council estate. You have a really good job." Ouch.

You can be poor and a young mum. Just don’t expect to have a degree, a career and a baby. That’s not how things go. Stick to Jeremy Kyle where you belong.

Then there is the barrage of dribs and drabs from older women who have 'been there’ and definitely think they know better. And maybe they do? But I don’t want to hear about it.

"First time mum? But you look so YOUNG to have a baby!" Thanks, would you like to know what moisturiser I use? While we’re on the subject, you look very old.

"Was it unplanned?" is another common question. Thanks for the interest, old timer, but whatever my age – this is definitely incredibly inappropriate.

Then there are the "I could never have a baby yet – I just have SO much I want to do!’" crowd. Excellent way of reaffirming your own life choices while conveniently trampling all over mine.

I recently went back to work, where I was asked how motherhood was going. I started saying, "It’s really…" before a colleague jumped in with, "Boring, right?". Sadly, they weren’t joking.

Life Doesn't End When Your Enter Parenthood

Yes, singing Wheels On The Bus (or more recently the 12 Days Of Christmas) on a loop can suck, but your life doesn’t just end because you've had a baby in your 20s.

Also, just because I no longer commute to sit in a badly lit room for eight hours a day, secretly online shopping, doesn’t mean I'm sitting on my bum watching Loose Women. Well, not every day.

"What do you actually do all day?" one childless friend recently asked me, genuinely curious. Because looking after a tiny human doesn't fill up your day at all, right?

The general consensus is that my career is over, but I know I’ve just hit pause and that I now have so much motivation and confidence to accomplish my goals. And not just for me, but for my son, too.

Plus, I'll have a whole lot of life left when he hits adulthood. By the time I'm 45, I will be free as a bird. I'll be able to shake off this pesky ‘boredom’ and crack on with all that drinking, shopping and working that everyone seems so fond of.

The New Me

I thought once I became a mum, I wouldn’t care about what people say.

But since becoming a mum, I've quickly realised that I do care, because I’m still me – just also a mum.

I think that I assumed once I morphed from Amy into ‘Amy the mum’ I would suddenly be totally self-assured and not give a hoot what anyone said.

But unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately - the mum bit is an add on, it hasn’t transformed who I am. I still get embarrassed and I still get shy and self-conscious. Only now I am not just representing me, I am also representing Freddy - meaning the pressure is on.

Motherhood can be tough, exhausting, mentally and physically draining however many years you have been on the planet and the last thing we need is someone asking how old we are.

Raising a tiny human is difficult - regardless of your age.

[Baby Blog: Night Feeding Truly Is The Devil]

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Do you find yourself defending your parenting choices? Let us know in the comments.