Are Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas morphing into each other?

Prince Harry and his girlfriend Cressida Bonas finally came out of the relationship closet at the weekend to show the world they are officially a (serious) item - first at Wembley Arena, where they got stuck into some PDAs and then at the rugby, where Harry cheered England on while Cressida gazed at her prince with naked adoration.

The pair look perfect together and the gleam in Harry’s eyes suggests he is smitten, but how about their other signals of compatibility? Falling in love involves an idealism bias, where we tend to seek out and then exaggerate the complimentary factors in order to forge strong bonds of partnership while ignoring the contrasting traits or negating their importance in terms of long-term affect by using phrases like: ‘Opposites attract’.

We might even bend our own tastes and personality traits to the point of splitting just to give the impression that we were made for one another. But isn’t there a risk that we will morph back into our old selves once the wedding is over and real life sets in?

ROYAL BODY LANGUAGE
Harry’s splayed shoulders and the way he points out aspects of the sport to Cressida as she sits sheltering behind his biceps suggest he’s happily embracing his alpha side, which is more than appropriate for a guy with his military and sporting expertise. His suppressed smiles signal he’s soppy in love right now, which might account for the spot of over-flexing in terms of his wardrobe.

Harry has always been more than comfortable in casual gear but that crumpled checked shirt and baggy jeans look to be a lean towards Cressida’s trendier, grungy styles. With her sleeves pulled over her knuckles and her long, centre-parted hair she looks beautifully on-trend for a Glastonbury generation, so much so that the thought of dragging her into the skirt suits and court shoes the royals favour might be one crime against fashion too far.

While Harry’s eyes were on the pitch at the rugby game, Cressida’s were fixed firmly on his face and when he leapt up to cheer his team on her celebratory rituals looked a little half-hearted. If Cressida does end up marrying Harry she’s have a lifetime of draughty shoots at Balmoral and divot-treading at polo, so let’s hope Harry’s face was diverting her eyes from a game she normally loves rather than stopping her from being bored!

HOW TO SPOT THE WARNING SIGNS IN YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS
So for everyone who is at that idealistic stage of love when your compatibility rating seems perfect, here are some of the top warning signs that should be addressed rather than overlooked:

1.    YOU HAVE MORPHED INTO IDENTICAL TWINS
Twinning with your clothing, body language and even tastes in music, can be a natural stage in the dating process. It implies your admiration for your partner is so intense you are having a stab at turning yourself into a bit of a clone. Harry’s styling is hinting at this currently but if it’s reciprocated (i.e. Cressida starts wearing Reiss and doing clutch bags to more formal events, like Kate) it should be cool. If we see Harry on the Royal Balcony in ripped jeans though, we should worry the hero-worship is too one-way to be relationship-healthy!

[Wedding Blog: I'm sorry, I don't want a hen do!]

[Is it ever okay to lie to your partner?]

2.    YOU ARE GUILTY OF STEREOTYPING
In the early days of dating you took some basic facts about your partner and turned him/her into a stereotypical and possibly mythological being as a result. We make a massive amount of assumptions about someone within the first few seconds of meeting them but it is important we don’t suffer from that first instinct bias as a result. This would mean clinging onto the idea that he will be good with kids because you saw him petting a dog, or assuming she is a kind, decent person because she paid for the first round. We are very, very bad at judging other people. Keep an open mind and force yourself to continue learning as you go along. Avoid phrase like ‘He would never lie to me’ or ‘She is so perfect for me’ etc as it suggests you have made a decision based on too little information.

3.    YOU TAKE THE EGOCENTRIC APPROACH
Although over-flexing in a bid to impress your partner can be dangerous, so can the opposite approach to romance. This is when we expect to find our perfect man or woman and our criteria involves how much they will enhance our own lives. If your search for a mate involves phrases like ‘I just want someone to look after me’ then you might be better off renting a security guard.  Ditto if you’re looking for someone you can ‘just be myself’ with or who will ‘love me for who I am’. This is fine in principle but it can imply a degree of laziness, too, as in just sitting back and waiting to be adored whatever. Although massive change or role-playing is never a great idea in a long-term relationship a small amount of effort to support/show interest in or fit in with his/her lifestyle is healthy.

4.    YOU MISTAKE LUST FOR LOVE
Nature can play some cruel tricks and this can be one of the crueller ones. During the earlier stages of a relationship lust can feel very much like love. Your levels of desire reach sky high and you have an intrinsic need to be with that person all the time, often to the exclusion of everything else. You dream about them, you fantasise about them and when you’re with them you just can’t get enough of them. You seem to have everything in common but that’s usually because you are doing very little with them apart from having sex. There is, of course, a bit of a cut-off point which is when nature decides that you have been together for long enough to breed, which is often around the two year mark. This can become the crisis point if that mindless passion dies and you are left with someone you neither like nor think of as a friend.

5.    YOU OVER-ACQUIRE THEIR TASTES
It’s nice to broaden your own hobbies and tastes in things like music, TV or sporting pursuits but will these new passions stand the test of time or are you in danger of cheating your partner by pretence?
The best way to check is to look for signs of over-deception in previous relationships. Trip through memory lane and ask yourself, ‘Was that Def Leopard CD really my choice?’, ‘Did I really like the taste of real ale?' The big question is did you do it again after you split? If the answer is ‘no’ you could be a serial taster-absorber.

6.    YOU DONT KNOW WHEN TO CALL IT QUITS
You did call time on failed relationships in the past but then after a pause to lick your wounds you found you were back for more of the same, not just with the ex (although that can sadly be an option) but by picking a new partner with the same traits or traumas. You hate the idea of failure and so keep working on the same problems hoping to find a solution that works, meaning their heavy boozing or womanising or unreliability etc draws you like a magnet because you believe you have finally learned how to ‘heal’ it.