11 Ways Supporting England In The World Cup Is Just Like Marriage

However disinterested you are in football, you'll probably have noticed the World Cup is on right now.

But even if you're not following the ups and downs of Gerrard, Rooney et al in minute detail, you may still be able to sympathise with the plight of England fans the country over.

Because when you think about it, supporting England in the World Cup is a bit like doing something many of us have done, or are thinking of doing - getting married.

1. Ridiculously high expectations

It doesn't matter how conditioned we are to losing, we still believe Gerrard will be doing a '66 and lifting that World Cup trophy. And it doesn't matter how many people warn us that marriages aren't all plain sailing and full of magical family moments, we still think ours will be perfect.

2. Children LOVE it

The adults have dressed you up, and are letting you run riot while they hang around drinking, dancing and having fun. This is just like every wedding you've ever been to.

But even better as you get to wear facepaint and screaming is actively encouraged.

And with the naivety that children think of marriage as a safe, secure state that starts with a big party, so too do they see the World Cup.

There is nothing purer than cheering for your team with no concept of the 48 years of hurt they've inflicted on us. Let them enjoy it.

3. It's really expensive for what it is

It might be a great party that you get to spend with all your favourite people but despite the kudos, holding the World Cup is flipping expensive. Estimates put the cost to Brazil at approaching $14 billion. And with the average UK wedding somewhere around £20k, we feel their pain.

Was it worth it?

4. Everyone's so excited at the start, but where are they in the years that follow?

Fair weather fans come out of the woodwork for major tournaments. And your wedding might be the only time you see extended family members who insisted on an invite but can't even remember your name. Where will they be as you build your life together - or rebuild your shattered team to give the Euros a go?

5. Your team/partner may not be the Adonis you've seen at other matches/weddings, but they're yours and you love them anyway

Other countries get these fitties.

We get this lot:

But they're hot in their own way, right? And we love them because they're ours.

6. The In-laws/The fans

Watching football in the pub is rather like trying to keep the peace at Christmas with the in-laws. You have to show the same levels of enthusiasm, try not to spill your drinks and make sure you don't get into a fight however disappointed you are in the state of the match/your Christmas presents.

But there's always someone who creates a scene and wrecks it for everyone. Whether it's the drunken uncle going bananas about the lack of good festive telly or the drunken hooligan who thinks it's YOUR fault England lost. You can only do your best.

7. You start off with boundless energy. Then reality sets in

At the beginning it's all date nights and flowers, but by the second half when you've conceded two goals, the enthusiasm is somewhat muted.

8. The collective disappointment of failure

As a couple, there is nothing like seeing the child you created fail at something you really wanted it to be able to do. Except watching the England team fail to make it through the next round even though you REALLY wanted them to.

9. Putting all your eggs in one basket

You've just got to really hope they don't disappoint you.

10. Commitment

It doesn't matter how bad it gets - you're in this for life.

11. We can criticise them - but you better not

And yeah we know Rooney had a bad match and we've given him what for (on Twitter), but that does not give you license to criticise our tactics.

And if you every try to call my husband a pushover again you'll have me to deal with, alright?

[World Cup WAGS without make-up]
[The weirdest hats at Ascot]