Want To Raise Kind Children? Here’s How…

All parents want their children to be kind – and most will even rate it as one of their top priorities for their tot, according to Harvard researchers.

Yet children themselves have a different story to tell. Those surveyed by the university’s Making Caring Common project said that some 80 per cent of their parents taught them about being successful and happy while just 20 per cent said their guardians taught them about caring for others.

And the children were three times more likely to agree than disagree with the statement, ‘My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.’

After polling some 10,000 middle and high school aged children in the US, the researchers came up with some ways that parents can help their children learn to be kind, in an effort to help reduce bullying, being cruel, disrespectful and dishonest.

1. Children need ongoing opportunities to practice caring and helpfulness, sometimes with guidance from adults
Children aren’t born good or bad, explain the researchers, and it’s a parent’s job to help shape their personality.

They advise to encourage plenty of kind activities in their little one’s schedule, whether it’s helping out around the house, working on a charity project or giving a friend a hand with something, will help them develop the skills to become the kind of person who looks out for others.

2. Children need to learn to listen to others, and to be there for their friends
Encourage them to take in the bigger picture and consider other people’s perspectives.

3. Children and youth need strong moral role models
Being a role model doesn’t mean that we need to be perfect or have all the answers, explain the researchers. It means grappling with our flaws, acknowledging our mistakes, listening to our children and students, and connecting our values to their ways of understanding the world.

4. Children need to be guided in managing destructive feelings
Often the ability to care for others is overwhelmed by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings. To help their child be kind, parents need to explain that all feelings are OK, but some ways of dealing with them are not helpful.

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