Top 10 Christmas cracker jokes for 2012

The best Christmas cracker jokes

Let’s face it. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without crackers, whether it’s the cheap and cheerful varieties full of plastic combs or the shiny luxurious kind, we all love a silly joke to lighten the mood at Christmas lunch.
Best Christmas cracker jokes © Rex

Whilst crackers have been around since 1846, jokes were only added at the end of the 1940s – until then crackers contained either love poems or mottos. While many believe it’s Santa’s little helpers who write these jokes, in reality, the jokes we’ll be reading out this Christmas will probably be the same ones we’ve been hearing for the past decade.

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Despite this, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without those all-important cracker jokes, and for this year, Swantex, the UK’s biggest manufacturer of Christmas crackers have selected the top 10 cracker jokes for 2012.

1. Where does Father Christmas go to recover after Christmas?
An elf farm.

2. What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time?
One day my prints will come.

3. What do you call two happy mushrooms?
Fun guys.

4. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.

5. What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack.

6. What do you give a dog for Christmas?
A mobile bone.

7. What’s brown and creeps around the house?
Mince spies.

8. What do witches use to wrap their presents?
Spello-tape.

9. What do you call a train loaded with toffee?
A chew chew train.

10. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with.

What are your favourite Christmas cracker jokes? Share your favourites in the comment box below.