The Smart Girl's Guide To Interpreting Your Red Hot Sex Dreams

Have you woken from a red-hot sex dream thinking where did that come from?

Because it wasn't about your partner, or a person you’re attracted to. Nope, you dreamt of rampant sex with your manager…and he’s someone you don’t even like.

Don't worry, having previously written two books on dream interpretation and after interviewing lots of people about their dreams, I know just how many extraordinary sex dreams people have.

Just as in run of the mill dreams, they can be packed with symbols. Read on to discover what six of the most common sex dreams often mean. Remember these are a guide, your sex dreams will still be unique to you, but you're likely to be able to pick out the more personal details if you think hard enough.

1. Having hot sex-with-your-ex:

It’s easy to panic, thinking 'Am I still hung up on him?' Let me reassure you, exes are incredibly common dream-material.

Typical dream: You’re having sex with your ex as if nothing’s changed. Or your new partner walks in on you two - nightmare!

Hidden meaning: Usually, such dreams mean you secretly long for something familiar and comfortable. You might feel insecure in your new relationship so your sleeping mind takes you back to a place when you felt a little bit more secure.

If your new partner discovers you and your ex in bed, it can signal you’ve mixed feelings about your new relationship. Perhaps you jumped into it too soon and you need to slow things down.

Beware: if you repeatedly dream about sex-with-your-ex it shows you’re not over him.

2. Embarrassing Sex:

It’s quite normal to dream of doing something sexual that embarrasses you. Our sleeping minds play tricks because they're trying to send us a message.

Typical dream: They often take the form of someone walking in when you’re pleasuring yourself - how embarrassing is that!? Or you're trying to do something like an impossible-to-do sexual position.

Hidden meaning: First, if you get embarrassed because someone’s walked in on you, it can reveal you’re hiding a part of your personality. You literally get ‘caught out’ in your sex dream. It can mean you fear the ‘real’ you isn't good enough. These sex dreams force you to confront such feelings.

If it’s you doing something embarrassing during sex, it signals you're going through a period of low self-confidence. Such feelings ‘rear their heads’ in such dreams.

3. Sex with someone of the same sex when you don’t consider yourself lesbian:

Having sizzling sex with another woman is common and doesn’t necessarily reflect on your sexuality.

Typical dream: Often these sex dreams occur somewhere you don't recognise - not in your bedroom or your home.

Hidden meaning: These dreams are often about curiosity. It's one way your unconscious mind allows you to ‘let go’ and do something new. That's why they're often set somewhere unknown to you. They’re hint you’d like to be more experimental.

If they’re recurring they might signal you’re bi-curious and you’d like to experiment with a woman in real life.

4. Sex in unusual places:

Having sex in places you never would, like a restaurant, staff canteen or a shopping mall, are common.

Typical dream: You find your clothes falling off. You have rampant sex with someone who happens to be around. You’re not concerned or embarrassed about people walking past, like in the canteen.

Hidden meaning: Often they symbolise you’re ready to abandon or change part of your life. Deep down you want a new challenge. Or they can signal you're getting bored in the bedroom and are ready to experiment.

5. Exhibitionist sex:

You put on a sex show of some sort like doing a lap dance or striptease. Or you star in a porn film.

Typical dream: You find yourself getting really turned on showing off in some way like in a lap dancing club. You’re enjoying flaunting your body. Sometimes these become nightmarish and you end up horrified.

Hidden meaning: They can mean that you feel neglected in your sex life and you really want more attention from your partner. So in your dream you grab attention through exhibitionist behaviour.

Or, they symbolise you have exhibitionist tendencies.

But when they become nightmarish it can signal that deep down you believe that sex is somehow ‘dirty’. It’s important to confront the inhibitions you might feel.

6. Sex with a boss that you don't like:

You’re mystified, why dream about having hot sex with a boss you don’t like?

Typical dream: You find yourself in their office or in yours having sex or even somewhere like a stationery cupboard. It's usually pretty raunchy sex - you can’t keep your hands off each other.

Hidden meaning: When you don't like your boss, it's your unconscious mind telling you to take control of the situation. These dreams are about a ‘power struggle' and not really about sex. In your dream your mind gives you that control through having passionate sex the way you want it.

But if you're not enjoying the sex in your dream it means you really don't know how to handle things with your boss during the day.

[7 Things You Should NEVER Say To A Man In The Bedroom]

[How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Over]

Dr Pam Spurr is a sex, relationships and self-help expert. Chat to her on Twitter @drpamspurr or find her online at www.drpam.co.uk.