The Paradox Of Choice: Is Dating Culture Ruining Our Love Lives?

98 dates. Nine months. And still no Mr Right.

:(

Despite sharing restaurant tables with half of Manhattan's eligible bachelors, Susan Winter, a writer and relationships expert, did not come striding out of the experience, arm-in-arm with the man of her dreams.

Surprised?

No, us neither.

She joins the ranks of countless dating bloggers, who regale their audiences with amusing stories of disaster, fleeting romance and sexcapades, but never seem to stick with anyone for longer than a hot minute.

Is this really because Mr Rights are in short supply or is it actually because the act of dating itself is ruining our chances of happiness?

We tracked down a psychologist to explain the 'forever restless' phenomenon that is growing among Gen-Y and beyond.

Fun, Fun, FUN

Dating - the art of preliminary meet-ups, to test the merit of a potential suitor, before taking the plunge into commitment - is fun.

Despite Susan Winter labelling dating a "conspiracy" and "tedious" in her article for The Huffington Post, there are plenty among us who actually quite enjoy the experience.

There are new restaurants to try, different life stories to hear and the promise of mystery, intrigue and surprise.

It is also freedom.

These days, young women are feeling less and less pressured into the shackles of marriage and monogamy before they're ready.

We have the option to test the waters, to spend a bit longer looking for the person we want to bind ourselves to, to have sex for pleasure with whomever we choose and to figure out what our priorities really are for the long run.

Ice Cream Is Cool, But Spinach Is Better For You

But just because it is fun, doesn't mean it is good for us.

The more people that leap onto the Plenty of Fish, Tinder and Smeeters bandwagons, the more blogs and columns we're seeing spring up all over the internet, sighing and venting about the frustrations of dating culture.

Don't believe us? Try 40 Days of Dating, Best Worst Date and How To Lose A Guy In One Tinder on for size.

And this got us thinking, is dating - online or otherwise - really the solution to finding the one, or is it actually the very thing standing in our way of happiness?

"Hi There, Mr Perfect!" Said No One Ever.

We consulted Averil Leimon, a leadership psychologist, author and regular voice on the BBC and ITV's morning television shows, about the delicate balance between freedom and choice.

"There's a book I'd refer back to - The Paradox of Choice, by Barry Schwartz," she began.

"His argument is about why more is less in a retail setting, but I think there are some clear parallels in terms of relationships."

"Schwartz makes the case that the more choice you get, the more dissatisfied you end up being. If you go into Gap, for example, you can have any type of jeans," Averil continued, "You can choose the style, the size, the fit and you eventually buy a pair of jeans and they're not 'perfect'."

"And you are more disappointed because you were given the illusion that they could be perfect."

"The more choice we are given in our love lives, the more we search for perfection," she went on, "which is frankly not that achievable in humanity and in human relationships."

"So despite having a good set of characteristics," Averil said, "any person you are likely to meet, when you know there is a vast range of other people easily accessible, whether you're looking at Tinder or something similar, you will be constantly comparing them against perfection and, ultimately, you'll be dissatisfied."

Ew, he dribbled some spaghetti sauce on his shirt. Who even orders bolognaise on a first date?! Moving swiftly on to the next...

Were We Better Off Before?

"In some ways, it was simpler for those of us back when we didn't have so much choice," she went on.

"Of course, there were all sorts of bad reasons for settling down, such as the restrictions of society, which meant that people got together too early, or they had to leave home and it was the only way they could do it," Averil continued.

"But in a context of knowing that it wasn't perfection, there was more impetus to make it last," she said.

"Romance would carry you through quite a long part of it and that first flush of love and then you knew you had to knuckle down and work on it," she concluded.

So, of course it is a great thing to feel that we have the freedom to try and to choose, but there is the risk that the more we train our brains to believe that a better option is out there somewhere - if only we could scour the internet a bit longer to find him - the more likely we are to overlook the person who isn't perfect, but might just be loveable anyway.

 [For A Happy Marriage, Sleep Naked. And Other Practical Advice]

[Are You More Adventurous In Bed Than Your Partner? You're Not Alone]

What do you think? Has dating, internet or otherwise, made you jaded about love? Let us know in the comments!