Spring Clean Your Sex Life: The Smart Girl’s Guide

Spring is a natural time to shakes things up in your sex life. Not only do we have a natural desire to change our life in springtime but there’s definitely a need when it comes to sexual desire.

Recent stats from Lady Prelox, a diet supplement designed to boost female desire, found a whopping 80 per cent of women experience lack of sexual desire at some point and 20 per cent say this directly affects their well-being.

So here are six sizzling steps to put some spring-style sunshine between your sheets:

Sexy Spring Step No. 1: Dump the negative attitudes
Let’s begin with subconscious messages you might tell yourself, that could be holding you back from red-hot sex. Be mindful of the messages your inner voice gives you, such as 'I feel unattractive', 'I’m not very sexy', 'I’m not good at X, Y or Z'.

To put some spring into your thinking and increase sexual confidence stop these thoughts at once. Replace with: 'I know a trick or two for the bedroom', 'I’ll stop being hard on myself', 'I’ll find my inner sex vixen' and so on.

The more you tell yourself these things, the more you'll start actually believing them.

Sexy Spring Step No. 2: Dress for sex-cess
It’s far too easy, especially if you’re in a relationship to stop feeling ‘sexy’. You wear the same thing, you do the same thing - it’s a real rut. So boost feelings of sexiness by choosing one or two pieces of sexy gear.

Whether it’s cheap 'n’ cheerful or one ‘investment’ piece, like a gorgeous basque, enjoy the feeling a new outfit gives you that anything’s possible.

If you want to surprise your partner with hot new gear tailor it to his fantasies. Is he turned on by thigh-high, black, fetish boots or little floral dresses?

Once you've bought something, strut around the room in it when on your own. You think you might feel a bit silly but it works as you start thinking 'I look hot'!

Sexy Spring Step No. 3: Stuck in a rut
Research shows couples get stuck in a rut always using the same sex position – maybe two if they’re lucky. Ho-hum! It’s easy to move from your fave position into another. For instance, you can move from Girls on Top (where you’re lying on top of him) easily into the Embrace position.

He holds your hips tightly as you two gently roll together - onto your sides - facing each other. In Embrace he can reach around with a vibrator and gently tease between your thighs and up around your bottom = heavenly sensations while you two gently move.

Sexy Spring Step No. 4: Liven up your toy-joy
Stats from Lovehoney show 59 per cent of their female customers splurge on vibrators. But there are so many different vibes it’s worth trying a new one from time to time. There are fabulous clit stimulators he can pleasure you with. Or sexy waterproof toys that mean sharing sensual showers or baths together will never be the same again.

The key is some men still feel a bit threatened by vibrators, believing they give you more pleasure than they can. So share the thrills to stop his insecurities. Have him lie back, drizzle vibe-friendly lubricant down his chest and in between his thighs. Then gently swirl the vibrator through it. Toy-Joy will supercharge desire for both of you.

Sexy Spring Step No. 5: Discover your lust lines
Erotic Asian teachings say we all have ‘lust’ lines running through our bodies that give us unique pleasure. Discover yours and his! Share a sexy shower - gently swirl the shower head over each other’s bodies. Your pleasure zones will spring to life.

Then towel off and lie back - you first! He warms massage oil on his fingertips and gently strokes his fingertips from the sides of your neck, down across your breasts and nipples, then back and forth across your abdomen, and finally down your inner thighs. Lie there and enjoy the amazing sensations. Then let him know which pleasure zone responded most – that’s your lust lines - he can go back for seconds.

Sexy Spring Step No. 6: Fabulous fantasies
Don’t miss what raunchy fantasy-chat can add to your sex life. If you’re already quite open about fantasies, it’s time to surprise each other with new scenarios.

The key is bedroom-etiquette and putting each other square in the middle of your X-rated fantasies. This makes you both likely to open up when, for example, he feels you're comparing him negatively to your favourite actor or rock star.

Have fun describing scenarios, if you’ve a Fifty Shades style one where you take control, call it “At my mercy”. Be playful with lots of chat about domination and submission. Add some relevant gear to your fantasy chat – like a blindfold when you’re playing out being a dominatrix who has him wrapped around your little finger… and handcuffed, of course.

Dr Pam Spurr is a sex, relationships and self-help expert, find her on Twitter @drpamspurr and check out her latest book, The Emotional Eater’s Diet.

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