Social Media Prenups: The Rise Of The 'Lifestyle' Clause

Social media is a key element of modern relationships whether we like it or not, but what about when relations turn sour? Should you take steps to ensure you're legally protected from the online wrath of your former lover?

It's a very real concern, apparently, with lawyers in the US increasingly being asked to draw up a 'lifestyle clause' in prenuptial agreements that covers social media - both during the relationship and if it should end.

There's something unsettling about the idea of marrying someone whose social media activity you feel you may need to vet, but while in the past your ex might have made some derogatory comments to friends about you, when post-break up grumblings are posted online their reach can be much wider and more potentially damaging.

New York-based attorney Ann-Margaret Carrozza told ABC News: "It’s a huge issue because we all know this stuff, once it's out there, you can't shake it. It can be humiliating. It can be painful.  It's really no joke."

Conditions for breaking the terms of a social media prenup are usually financial, with well-to-do New Yorkers forking out $50,000 (£30,000) and of course removing the offending material.

The most common stipulations in the clauses are around nudity and things that could affect someone's reputation.

It may seem crazy that someone you were so close to could turn round and humiliate you online after the relationship breaks down but the rise of 'revenge porn' suggests you just never can tell.

In 2011, a third of US divorce proceedings contained the word 'Facebook', suggesting that the way social media is used during relationships is just as much a problem as when they end. And some couples are even resorting to defining what each other can do online while they're together.

Carrozza admits that not all couples need written social media contracts, or 'love contracts' as she terms them, but says all of them should at least have a discussion.

“It helps a couple identify the areas where they are never going to compromise," she explains.

“You want to establish boundaries, what will be off limits, what will be private ... what are the acceptable areas of your private lives that you want to post online.”

The arguments for it all sound straightforward, but don't you think the whole idea is really just quite bizarre? How long will it be until we have to draw up contracts around our social movements offline too?

Lawyers frequently suggest a 'social media holiday' during a breakup or divorce as things mentioned online, from location-linked apps that reveal you were in one place when you said you were elsewhere, to photos tagged by others to messages you've sent can all be used against you.

Stefano Maruzzi, VP of GoDaddy EMEA, the largest tech provider dedicated to small business isn’t surprised by the issue.

He said: “The rise of the ‘social pre-nup’ is not a surprise at all. Personal identity will be so closely tied to your digital identity in the future that keeping this in good shape will be vital.

“Everything we do on a day-to-day basis will be connected to the internet: from saving your important documents on the Cloud to auto-uploading photos straight from your camera onto your social profiles; from ordering groceries by scanning an empty carton of milk to hosting family gatherings entirely over Skype.

“Within a few years clauses such as this will be a major feature not just in pre-nuptial agreements, but in most everyday contracts and agreements."

It all feels like a bit of a modern nightmare to us. We can't help but hope it stays with the high-earning, neurotic New Yorkers with whom it originated...

[Social Media Etiquette Rules]
[Yahoo's Guide To Modern Manners]