New Mummy: My baby is costing me a fortune - but my common sense has gone out the window

Babies are big business these days. Current estimations are that the cost of raising a child is upwards of £200,000, and it’s easy to begin to see how, even before they can walk and talk, never mind ask for pocket money or a university education.

For such little people, babies seem to collect an awful lot of stuff. Some of this stuff you absolutely need, and some of it you might just want. And while buggies costing as much as a used car probably aren’t an option, sometimes you don’t necessarily want to go for the budget version either, especially where your little one is concerned. And is it so wrong to want to give your baby the very best you can?

It’s not just the material stuff either. The pressure is there to give your baby the best start in life in every way, including giving them a fulfilling, stimulating and busy social calendar.

I didn’t really have a clue what this involved before Honor came along. There’s baby massage, mum and baby yoga, baby sensory classes, baby swimming and water confidence, baby signing… The list goes on. All this for under-ones; I haven’t even begun to look at what’s available for toddlers. All of it comes at a pretty price too. But you can’t blame them for this. It’s a safe enough bet that they’ll find new mums who are prepared to fork out for their precious bundle’s “development and mental wellbeing”.

Okay, so they don’t all cost – we have Rhyme Time every second Monday at the library, and there are various local baby and toddler playgroups that are either free or charge a token 50p to £1 entry, mostly to cover the cost of the tea and biscuits.

But while these free groups are a great way to get out, see other mums and give Honor a break from the same old toys she plays with every day at home, I don’t come away feeling she gets anything more out of them than that. Meanwhile there is so much more on offer out there, at a cost.

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I’ve been digging deep and signing Honor and I up to a number of these paid-for activities, more than I can really afford. But I read the brochure for one and believe it when it says if I only do one class with my child, it should be this one. But then I look at the website for another, and it tells me the same thing.

Am I being fleeced? I’d consider myself to be immune to such blatant marketing techniques usually, but on this matter my common sense is out the window, so determined am I to make sure Honor is the happiest, most stimulated and most fulfilled she can be. I’ve heard the counter-argument that these activities are not needed, mainly: “They didn’t have these things around when you lot were young”. I’m just not convinced by this. They also didn’t have the Internet then, or Harry Potter, or sat nav, or Nando’s. Developments happen and that’s not a bad thing.

Honor and I do have great fun at home, especially now she’s old enough to start engaging with her toys and interacting with me. But I do notice that, after a whole day at home, she’s grouchy and I’m exhausted. It’s hard work keeping her stimulated all day with my limited repertoire of nursery rhymes and games.

Whereas on the days I take her out to an organised class, I can see the benefit, not just at the time, but also with how she is for the rest of the day, and also how well she sleeps that night.

Are these classes fulfilling their developmental promise? Who knows. Are they setting her up to be a child genius? No, of course not. But that’s not the point. The point is seeing her face light up in wonderment at a display of dancing, twinkling lights at Baby Explorers. Or hearing her squeal with delight as she splashes across the pool at her swim class. She’s happy and fulfilled in the here and now – which surely is the best possible start in life there is. So for me, although it adds up (and it really does) it’s undoubtedly worth it, because I can’t put a price on her happiness.