New Mummy Blog: Why Are Ugly Changing Bags A Thing?

Baby changing bag manufacturers, I have a bone to pick with you. Do you think we've lost our senses?

If I didn't have a baby, I wouldn't dream of buying a bag that looks like the majority of those on offer. They're just so... mumsy.

Never mind the fact that they cost far more than they should (baby goods, like weddings, often come with such an inflated price tag, preying on your panic to give your child the very 'best').

I'm not adverse to spending more than I should on a nice handbag. I've got a few that I'd rather not tell you the price of. While these change bags don't come with designer price tags, they do come with ones that are, to me, quite ridiculous, considering the bags are really rather *whispers* ugly. Just for some extra pockets and a matching changing mat.

I refused to buy one when my first baby was born and I still don't have one for my second. But most mums do, and I'm probably offending great swathes of them with each sentence I write. I don't understand why they all - stylish, sensible women - succumbed to the change bag.

But they did, and boy, did I get some funny looks at playgroups cramming our belongings back into my regular handbag, having shunned this badge of motherhood.

So I don't have the dedicated bottle warmer compartment or the extra zip bag for wet or dirty clothes. I survive.

I can see why they're a selling point, and if I could find a bag I actually liked I'm sure I would like them. There's no getting away from the fact that babies come with a LOT of stuff.

Coupled with a toddler who only has to look at a muddy puddle to need a full outfit change and who has a propensity to snack without stopping, I could do with a small suitcase rather than a large handbag.

The contents of my handbag used to look like this: lip balm, lip stick, phone, keys, purse, maybe a packet of chewing gum, possibly a book. Um. There was more, I know it. My bag was always full to the brim. I can't think, for the life of me, what with now, but the point was it was MY stuff.

Now, the contents look like this: nappies (several, two sizes), wipes (never enough), a travel change mat (pink with hearts, poor Henry), nappy rash cream, tissues, teething gel, hand sanitiser, sun cream, sun hats, hair clips, complete outfit changes for both children, a bib, teething toy, a book for Honor, at least two muslin squares (one clean, hopefully), multiple snack boxes of raisins, a handful of loose raisins, Honor's water bottle, something unidentifiable, sticky and warm that later turns out to be an aging banana Honor didn't want three days ago, at least one rogue item added by the toddler (Barbie's shoe, a stone or the TV remote perhaps) and somewhere at the bottom my purse (now with chocolate smears), phone and keys. And breathe.

And there will still be things I need that I don't have with me. A change of clothes for me, for example, for those times the contents of Henry's nappy escape quicker than I can change him. My children may be spotless but yes, that is human poo all down my top.

Admittedly, it can be pretty frustrating trying to lay my hands on what I need in the bag - laboriously rummaging with one hand while steering a buggy/holding a baby/restraining a toddler with the other. Okay, so I'm not laughing now, all you multi-pocket, handy compartmentalised-bag toting mothers. But my bag still looks nicer.

Joking aside, the appearance of my change bag is of great importance. Not to me, but to my husband. Although a great, hulking specimen of beer-drinking, rugby-watching masculinity, he just doesn't feel comfortable sporting a typical change bag, in all its mumsy glory.

If I ever want him to take charge of an out-and-about nappy change, I must equip him with a neutral, non-descript and unobtrusive bag for the task. And I wonder, is my husband really the only one who is man enough to have an opinion on the change bag, as a joint vessel for a very much joint responsibility (at weekends, at least) like nappy changing?

And so my simple orange Longchamp tote continues to do the job. I had it before I became a mum and I'll have it long after my nappy changing days are over. I do kind of wish it had an integrated bottle holder though. And that pouch for wet clothes or dirty nappies. And maybe a separate compartment to keep my few measly belongings safe from brown bananas, raisins on the run and sticky fingers.

Longchamp, if you're listening, fancy adding a change bag to your range please?

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