New Mummy blog: What’s wrong with wanting to be a yummy mummy?

Research out this week tells us that new mothers ditch their dress sense after giving birth, and won’t take an interest in how they look again until their child reaches three years nine months.

I’m not sure what exactly happens at this magical age to allow us out of the fashion wilderness. But from the moment our children are born until this point, skirts, high heels, leather and bikinis, among other things, apparently are left on the shelf. We have no interest in looking glamorous, have no time for fashion, speed and comfort become our top priorities, and we will probably cut our hair into a bob, the research says.

Sorry, I must have missed that day at antenatal classes – for I didn’t realise that just because I’ve had a baby, I ought to cut my hair short and wave goodbye to bikinis.

Ok, so in the early days I wasn’t prancing around in heels – I was too terrified of falling down the stairs carrying the baby. And just as I wouldn’t wear heels to the gym, I don’t wear them to a playgroup where I’m down on the floor rolling toys around and chasing after bum-shuffling babies. But that doesn’t have to mean I’ve lost all sense of style, surely?

The study goes on to say comfortable tops and neutral colours are “considered more appropriate” for new mother.

Am I the only one to think this is either bizarre or insulting, or both?

It seems that as new mums we can’t win. If we start worrying about getting our bodies back and how we look, we’re lambasted for being misguided or vain, for getting our priorities all wrong.

Never mind that, if you have any sort of eye on popular culture, it’s impossible to escape the unbelievable post-pregnancy shape up of celeb after celeb.

[New Mummy: Battling the 'Bad Mummy' culture and feeling like a failure]
[New Mummy blog: Teething time is upon us!]

Despite the trickery you know that goes on behind closed doors with personal trainers, personal chefs, personal stylists, it’s difficult not to draw comparisons with your celebrity pregnancy buddies (for me, the Duchess of Cambridge – the comparison was, of course, quite soul destroying). 

And today alone, I’ve seen stories on the amazing post-pregnancy figures of Tamara Ecclestone and Lauren Silverman. Both were out for dinner, the latter wearing (shock horror, our survey says no) a leather dress, and the former looking simply astonishing three weeks after giving birth. Yes, I’m green with envy.

But it seems, bashing us with the celeb stick is not enough. For now we are also in for a hard time over not making enough effort either.

It’s just plain silly. Wearing a mini skirt is laughably impractical – not to mention indecent - when your main activity of the day is sitting cross legged on the floor at the local library singing nursery rhymes. But it doesn’t mean we’ve lost all notion of style and all interest in our appearance.

Of course my wardrobe has changed slightly. Dresses are not always the most practical choice for nursing mothers; I, for one, have no desire to have to have to get undressed every time my baby needs to be fed.

But yes I have a baby, yet my hair is washed and I wear make up every day. My nails are painted. I still own, and wear, high heels. And I’m even willing to get into a bikini.

I might be a mum but I still like to look nice. Sometimes I wonder why I bother, when Honor spits up all over me, or she wees on me mid nappy change. But I do bother, because I’m still me and I want to look like me. Just because I’ve had a baby doesn’t mean I’m a different person. And if that means I’m still as vain as ever, so be it.