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New Mummy Blog: What You Definitely Shouldn't Say To A New Mum

There are some things no new mum wants to hear. Ever.

I'm sleep deprived. I'm hormonal. I'm trying my best to juggle two tiny kids without messing up.

There are some things I just don't need to hear.

Seriously, don't anger a stressed out mum [Rex]
Seriously, don't anger a stressed out mum [Rex]

You Look Tired
I haven't slept for weeks. There's no way I look anything but tired. I don't need to be reminded of how tired I am or how bad I look. But thanks.

I'm Tired
You're tired?! You with your uninterrupted, full night's sleep. I might not have an exclusivity on tiredness but you won't find any sympathy here (I'm too tired).

You Could Lose The Baby Weight If You Wanted To
What a double whammy. So not only am I fat, I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

Maybe I'll weigh less if I take all my clothes off... [Rex]
Maybe I'll weigh less if I take all my clothes off... [Rex]

You Look Pretty Good Considering You've Had Two Kids
Give the compliment with one hand and take it away with the other.

But You Don't Do Anything All Day
Nope, you're right. I sit at home watching Jeremy Kyle and eating cake. The toddler and the baby look after themselves.

What's Wrong With Her?
Said by a well-meaning distant relative who had decided there must be something 'wrong' with my baby because she cried more than their own, unusually placid grandchild.

Your Milk Probably Isn't Enough
How to make a new mother feel like a complete failure in four little words. Actually, it was enough, thanks, but breastfeeding's hard enough to get the hang of without this sort of negativity.

My milk's premium quality, I'll have you know [Rex]
My milk's premium quality, I'll have you know [Rex]

That's Not How We Did It
It is, however, how I am doing it. I get it: back in the day, things were so much better. Who cares for 30-plus years of advancement?

She'd Better Not Cry - Or Poo
This was said by a fellow air traveller unhappy to be sitting next to my husband and I and our eight-week old baby on a flight to Spain. Despite his threats, she did both.

That Was A Decent Night's Sleep, Wasn't It?
Said by my husband when he's slept through five night wakings and a ten to six wake up call. How does he do that?

HOW DOES HE SLEEP THROUGH IT ALL? [Rex]
HOW DOES HE SLEEP THROUGH IT ALL? [Rex]

Are They Both Yours?
Um, no. I stole this one.

Isn't She A Little Young For Nursery?
My heart was breaking at the thought of sending my still-tiny child to nursery when I had to return to work after a year's maternity leave. I really didn't need anyone to make me feel even worse.

[New Mummy Blog: Stop Trying To Label My Parenting Choices]

[New Mummy Blog: Toddlers Speak A Whole Different Language To The Rest Of Us]