New Mummy Blog: What Kate Middleton Needs To Know About Having Two Children Under Two

Dear Kate,

I could tell you what I’ve learnt about bathing a boisterous toddler while simultaneously feeding a ravenous newborn, or about getting all three of you up, dressed, fed and out the house in the morning without an army of staff to help get you organised.

Except, of course, you do have that army of staff.

But although our day-to-day experiences of mothering two very young children will inevitably be completely different, there are some things that are universal as we strive to raise them to be the very best people they can be.

These are the things I’ve learnt in the three short months since my second child was born, that I would like to share with you, and with any other mother about to embark on the plate-spinning journey of a mum of two.

First of all, be prepared for time to speed up. Again.

You thought the first 12 months of your firstborn’s life went by in a blur? It’s nothing compared to this time around. Savour every moment.

Try to give your second baby’s little milestones as much attention as you did your first. Take just as many pictures. They might be a little blurrier, with a toddler hand or foot in the way, but they’re just as precious. Find the time to fill in their baby record book and collect mementoes along the way.

On the day our first baby was born, we bought every newspaper to give her a snapshot of the world at the time she first entered it. The newspaper we happened to have anyway from the day her little brother arrived accidentally ended up as kindling for the fire. That’s pretty rubbish. And as a second child myself, who has always had a bad case of second-child, second-place syndrome, I have no excuse.

And don’t forget to keep marking your first child’s milestones too.

Yesterday I was too busy watching the baby wasn’t going to put his newly acquired rolling skills into practice on top of the change table to notice his big sister quietly doing one of her very first wees on her potty.

She just went ahead and did it without a fuss, and if she tried to tell me afterwards, I didn’t hear her. It was only much later when we noticed a little puddle in the bottom of the potty that we realised. Cue enormous guilt.

Remember that your big baby is still just a baby, too.

As soon as Henry was born, Honor suddenly seemed so big, so robust. So very much not a baby any more. But at 19 months old, that’s exactly what she still was. I don’t want her to have to grow up too fast, just because there’s a newer baby on the block.

And when she’s ‘helping’ by laying the blanket over the sleeping baby, then pulling it off, and putting it back on again, and repeating until the baby wakes up, she’s not doing it to wind me up. She’s just showing her love for her brother and imitating Mummy, which is the way children learn.

So no matter your frustration, heightened by those sleepless nights, try never to take it out on your firstborn. It wasn’t their choice to become the big sibling and they’re doing their best to step up to the role.

Also, remember when it seems both children are working together, in brotherly and/or sisterly cahoots, to stop you from achieving anything on your to do list or even just being able to hear yourself think, that what you’re seeing is the first precious moments of a sibling bond that will hopefully grow stronger and stronger as your babies become children and then adults.

Most importantly, don’t worry about whether you can love another child as much as your first, who has been your world since they were born. It doesn’t work like that. You might be splitting the attention, but you’ll be doubling the love.

And you’re so very, very lucky to be getting to do it all over again.

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