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New Mummy Blog: The Parenting Promises I’ve Already Broken

Our mummy blogger thought she had it all worked out: the sort of parent she’d be and the mistakes she’d never make. But then her children came along and suddenly things weren’t quite so simple

Before kids, I knew it all. Before kids, I had all these ideas about what it would be like, how my children would behave and what sort of mother I would be.

You see that mum in the checkout queue doing battle with her tantruming child? That was never going to be me.

Before I had Honor, I thought I would be a certain 'type' of parent [Copyright/Yahoo]
Before I had Honor, I thought I would be a certain 'type' of parent [Copyright/Yahoo]

While the blue-eyed, golden-haired children of my pre-parenting fantasies actually have materialised, the immaculate, organic, skipping through meadows kind of motherhood I imagined has not. Funny that.

Perhaps this is life teaching me a lesson for judging that poor, harried mother who reached for a sugary treat to buy her child’s good behaviour that day in the supermarket.

For as it now turns out, that mother is me. All those grand ideas I once had? I’ve gone and compromised on them all.

Everything changes when you have children [Copyright/Yahoo]
Everything changes when you have children [Copyright/Yahoo]

Promise #1: I Won’t Rely On TV To Entertain My Children
Actually, we don’t have the TV on much in our house. I’ve always been fairly strict at limiting my toddler’s screen time to half an hour before bedtime. But just recently I’ve started letting this rule slip.

The thing is, when I’m feeding the baby I’m confined, without a free hand and unable to react – a dangerous situation to be in around an unpredictable toddler.

So when she comes to me, TV remote in hand, it’s easier to agree and to let Peppa and friends distract and entertain so I can get on with feeding her brother.

The simple fact is that now I have two children, and not a moment to myself, sometimes I need to rely on television to get anything done. A few extra episodes, every now and then, are not going to rot her brain. I hope.

A little screen time isn't the end of the world [Copyright/Yahoo]
A little screen time isn't the end of the world [Copyright/Yahoo]

Promise #2: My Children Won’t Even Know What Chocolate Is
Yeah, right. In the beginning, I had total control over what my children were eating. I was/am breastfeeding so they ate/eat what I do. Even when it came to weaning my daughter onto solids, it was up to me what she ate.

Ok so I couldn’t get her to eat everything she was offered, but I could limit what she was offered to the very best, freshest, and purest.

Then one day we gave her chocolate. We were on holiday, we were eating some and we thought it would be a nice treat. One little square wouldn’t hurt. She loved it so much she did a little dance and has ever since dedicated her life to acquiring as much of this forbidden substance as she possibly can.

Ask her what she’d like for breakfast and she’ll say “chocolate?” in a hope-filled voice. While I draw the line at breakfast, I can’t always resist at other times – the chocolate dance is just too cute.

Chocolate for breakfast is now a frequent request [Copyright/Yahoo]
Chocolate for breakfast is now a frequent request [Copyright/Yahoo]

Promise #3: I Shall Never Compete Or Compare My Child To Others
It’s a horrible part of parenting, and something I was adamant I wouldn’t do.

It doesn’t matter if one of Honor’s little friends is potty trained before her. Or if she can talk in sentences before they can. All that matters is that they all develop in their own time and are happy, healthy and eager to learn.

Except I do catch myself comparing. I just can’t help it. But show me a parent who hasn’t compared their child to another at some point, and you’ll be showing me a saint (or a liar).

Every parent compares their child to other children [Copyright/Yahoo]
Every parent compares their child to other children [Copyright/Yahoo]

Promise #4: I Will Never Make My Children Do Anything They Hate
When I was a child, I belonged to a swimming club and had to train twice a week after school and often compete at galas at the weekend.

I hated it; each week was punctuated by the dread I felt as Tuesday or Thursday evenings approached and the euphoria I felt afterwards when it was over and done with for another few days. For whatever reason, my parents wouldn’t let me give up. I made myself a promise back then that I wouldn’t force my children to do anything they didn’t want to do.

Although I have since added a caveat of ‘within reason’ and ‘unless it’s essential for their wellbeing, safety or development’, it’s important that I keep that promise to my younger self.

Yet in a horrible case of history repeating itself, I did take my daughter to baby swim classes and kept taking her, despite the fact she cried when she realised where we were, cried when we got in the pool, and cried on and off for the whole 30 minute class.

Why on earth didn’t I stop? All the other babies in the class loved it and I was sure she’d start enjoying it at any moment.

She didn’t - and now she hates water. Even bathtime is an ordeal. And it serves me right.

But despite all of these broken promises, I can look back fondly on what I thought being a parent was going to be. Because while I might not be the perfect parent with perfect children, what I’ve got is even better. What I’ve got is real.

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