New Mummy blog: Step away from the smartphone

New research this week confirms, unsurprisingly, that the growing use of smartphones and tablets is detrimental to our babies’ development. If Mum and Dad are glued to their devices, it deprives their child of interaction. They should be singing, talking and enjoying some ‘rough play’, says the report, not swiping and Facebook liking.

As I sat in bed the other morning reading this news on my tablet, while my baby chattered next to me playing with her toys, I put said device down sheepishly. In these few short months since she was born, I’ve strived to give Honor the ‘right’ upbringing: no TV on during the day (instead of the background chatter of ‘Loose Women’ or even ‘CBeebies’, we have nursery rhymes playing - I might question this decision when we get to the umpteenth repeat of Twinkle Twinkle each week, but still I don’t cave) and lots of time spent reading books together. I say we read, but mostly I mean me starting to read and Honor losing interest part way through and trying to eat the book instead – but it’s a start.

But actually, I forgot to think of what I was doing while all this was going on. Most of the time I’m on the floor with her, stacking cups, banging tambourines, waving teddies around and talking nonsense. But every now and then the temptation to sneak a look at my phone, read the headlines, check my emails, see what the real world are up to on social media, gets a little too much.

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In fact, my tablet was a lifeline during the early months, when Honor would feed for what felt like hours. She was so tiny and would curl up in just one of my arms, leaving the other arm free to “poke around on that thing constantly” as my husband labelled my tablet-usage. Especially in the middle of the night, when Honor and I were up, again, and I was desperately trying not to nod off mid feed holding her, its comforting glow kept me awake.

The days of one-armed cradling are certainly over. As, too, are the hour-long feeds, thank goodness. And so the reliance on technology to keep me company while pinned in one place by a hungry baby has waned.

Even if it hadn’t, Honor’s developing motor skills would have put a stop to it anyway. Her little hands scrabbling at the screen are too much of a risk – a couple of accidental and inappropriate ‘likes’ by her were enough to teach me.

But her ever-growing fascination with electronic devices is telling. She only has to catch a glimpse of my phone to try to grab it from my hand. She goes mad for the laptop or tablet. And the TV remote is the constant target of her affection.

I have to assume this is learnt from us. Babies love to mimic what they see their parents doing, and so her love of gadgets must stem from our behaviour. The fact that she drops the toy TV remote we gave her with a sigh of disgust and barely a glance is also telling – she never sees us using it, so she is not fooled. And a lot of the time, I’m waving the phone in her face taking pictures of her; she must be thinking it’s something pretty special if I’m trying to show her it ALL the time.

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These technologies are so ingrained in modern life, and whilst any good parent must worry about the impact on their child’s development, I’m not ready to lock them away and throw away the key. Our children are growing up with devices that in our infancy were the stuff of science fiction, and to get on in life they surely will need to keep up. I still watch in wonder at Honor’s toddler cousin swiping her way through apps, marvelling that it’s like she’s being doing it all her life before remembering that she has been doing it all her life. I don’t really want Honor to be the one kid in the class who doesn’t know how to do this stuff. But there’s time enough for that, and plenty of clever, educational apps that will enhance her learning when that time is here.

But for now, I’m keeping my own usage in check. I don’t want Honor’s earliest memories to be of the top of my head as I’m bent over the iPad. And I don’t want to watch her first steps through my phone screen because I’m too busy capturing the moment to live in it. These days and months are so precious and will be over in the blink of an eye. There will be plenty of time for my phone when I’m no longer the centre of my baby’s little world. But for as long as I am, I intend to soak up every single minute. It’s time to put down the smartphone.