New Mummy Blog: Is it time for another baby?

“So… is it time for another yet?” someone asked me the other day. “Another what?” I thought – and then I realised: another baby. It can’t be that time already, can it?

Actually, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it – it’s a question that my mum friends and I have discussed pretty much since we met; as soon as our babies were no longer the tiniest, crinkliest little newborns at the baby clinic, we all surprised ourselves by feeling broody as we cooed over the young usurpers.

Many a debate has been had over the table at Costa. What’s the optimum age gap between siblings? And should you wait for it with the assumption that your timing will go to plan? How do you manage the constant demands of a newborn when you’ve got a toddler bouncing at your heels? Not to mention the lack of sleep – which of course we all mention, a lot. What about the first trimester of pregnancy, when all you want to do is hide or throw up, but you’ve got to get the toddler’s tea on the go? And should you give your first-born the time to have all of his or her firsts – steps and words at least – before you think about bringing another newborn into the family?

But while most of us haven’t actually been seriously considering it right now, or in fact any time imminently, there is a little niggling thought that we should probably have some sort of timescale in mind.

And, of course, I’ve talked about it with my husband too, who (of course) has a much more practical approach based on affordability, the size of our house, childcare options and career plans. Much more practical, yes, until he looks at our baby and turns to mush, declaring he wants enough for a five-a-side and we’d better get cracking.

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But while the thought of a house full of the love and laughter of a gaggle of kids warms my heart, it does also terrify me. I know, it’s not exactly unusual for people to have more than one child and most people manage just fine. Well, just about.

Some of the families we know have taken to it encouragingly beautifully, with the firstborn taking to siblinghood like a duck to water. Yes, there’s the odd wobble of jealousy, but on the whole they’ve made it look wonderfully easy.

But others, unfortunately, have been more than a little put out. “One plus one equals an awful lot more than two,” is a favourite phrase of my brother in law, who is still in a state of shock three months in to life with two children under three: not exactly filling us with confidence.

And according to a clever evolutionary biologist at Harvard, it seems Honor isn’t that keen on a brother or sister just yet either. A report this week has suggested that a baby’s habit of waking through the night is actually a clever tactic to make mothers breastfeed more, slowing down the post-birth return of fertility, therefore putting a stop to another baby coming along, in an effort to increase their own chance of survival.

So that’s what all the waking up in the middle of the night is about.

And funnily enough, one of the points often made in our coffee house debates is that until we’re getting a little more sleep, we couldn’t begin to imagine life with baby number two as well.

We’ve been outsmarted by a bunch of six month olds, it would seem.