New Mummy Blog: How Becoming a Mother Has Changed Me

Of course becoming a mother changes you. You automatically become time poor and even the most shambolic person has to become organised to get anything done.

You become immune to things that would previously have repulsed you in close proximity – poo, sick, snot; the bodily fluids that children expel so freely.

You forget what it’s like to eat a meal with two hands or to hold a conversation without interruption.

But becoming a mother has changed me in ways much more meaningful. Having children hasn’t just brought two wonderful new people into my family.

I might have given them life (with my husband’s help) but they’ve given me just as much back already.

Self Belief

My babies have given me a self confidence I was lacking before. There’s something about getting two mini humans out of me, and then watching them grow from helpless scraps of things into thriving, wonderful little people in their own right under my care that’s been an enormous confidence booster.

It gives me a benchmark when I find myself in other scary situations and I’m out of my comfort zone. If I can do that, I can do anything.

It puts things into perspective – if things go wrong in other areas of my life, it’s far easier to come to terms with than it used to be because at the end of the day, when I close the door and it’s just my little family and me, nothing else matters.

Mortality

It didn’t take motherhood to make me realise that nothing lasts forever, but it certainly brings it home that life is brief. Since my first child was born, time has doubled its pace and the days, weeks, months fly by while I try to cling to each precious stage.

They stay newborn for such a tiny amount of time, turning into walking, talking toddlers seemingly overnight. They’ll be 18 and out of here all too quickly.

I never used to dwell on the thought of death, and I still don’t. But when the topic comes up, as it sometimes does, it seems so much sharper, more real and threatening than it ever did in my carefree, childfree days.

I found a lump in my breast a few weeks ago and while I, and my doctor, were both convinced it’s nothing more than a blocked milk duct, it panicked me in a way I wouldn’t have expected. I can’t bear to imagine not being here to see my children grow up.

Hopes And Dreams

I’ll admit that when I was pregnant with my first, I was worried about the things I would have to give up once the baby arrived.

I lived a wonderfully fun life throughout my 20s, full of spontaneity, great friends, a glamorous career, and the best that London had to offer. Now here I was, entering my 30s and feeling like that stage of my life was probably over.

And yes, having children has made some things more difficult. That perfect work/life balance any working mother strives for remains out of my reach. And while the friends have stayed, the spontaneity has had to go – my children like their routine.

While I slowly come to terms with the things I have had to give up, I can also see the way my goals have become so much richer, because there’s now more people in them.

You don’t have to give up your hopes and dreams when you become a parent. You might just find different ones. But the chances are, the new ones will be even better and you won’t miss the old ones one bit.

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