New Mummy Blog: Five Types Of Judgemental Parent To Ignore Or Avoid

When my first child was born, I was so worried about doing everything ‘right’. I thought I would be my own harshest critic.

It turns out I was wrong. Suddenly everyone had an opinion, invited or otherwise, on how I was raising my child.

Opinions are great, but judgement is not, and I soon discovered there are some mums out there who are so quick to judge and so harsh in doing so they make Simon Cowell look like a pussycat.

And there’s no reasoning with them. You can say: “Let’s be a little nicer to one another. Let’s appreciate our differences and realise that as long as we’re raising children that are happy, healthy and loved, does it really matter how we get there?” But it won’t make a jot of difference.

All you can do is run when they come towards you.

The Competitive Parents
Step away from the middle-of-the-night WhatsApp group.

It might have seemed like the best idea ever when you all met at antenatal classes and instantly signed up to be BFFs.

What better than a bunch of likeminded mums to keep each other company through the journey into parenthood, offering support and friendship along the way?

And while this may well be the case as you enjoy tea, cakes and play dates with the loveliest of mamas during the day, often there’s a dark side, just waiting for the cover of nightfall.

In those midnight hours, when your baby refuses to sleep, you reach for your phone to see who else is up.

You’re looking for company and encouraging words. But what you may end up getting is a battle you didn’t even know you were signing up for.

Because the competitive mum is lurking, just waiting for your sleep-deprived self to offer itself up for sacrifice.

Whose baby is sleeping the best? Whose is sleeping the worst? It doesn’t matter, as long as their baby WINS.

Not helpful at any time, but especially not at three in the morning. Put the phone down – right now.

The Over-Zealous Parents
They know everything there is to know about their chosen parenting methods and beliefs.

They’re the tiger mothers who think your child’s chances of success are over at the age of four months because you haven’t enrolled him in baby French lessons.

Or the attachment parents who become babywearing Gestapo, claiming they’re ‘just trying to help’ when they go sling-shaming*.

*The act of going up to a complete stranger in public and telling her that the sling she’s carrying her child in is the ‘wrong kind’, causing irreversible damage to her precious baby’s hips/spine/private parts every time she uses it.

They’re judging you wherever you go. And because each one has their own agenda and rule sheet from which they do this judging, you can never win. So don’t bother trying.

The Perfect Parent
Their baby never wakes in the night (or if she does, she rolls over, cuddles up to her favourite teddy and puts herself straight back off to sleep with barely a murmur).

Your baby still needs to be fed back to sleep. You know you should break the habit but six months of sleepless nights has destroyed your willpower and you choose the path of least resistance. It’s a vicious cycle. If only you had a good night’s sleep under your belt – then you could crack it.

Their baby LOVES eating pureed kale and broccoli and they wouldn’t dream of feeding her one of those shop-bought pouches your little treasure is currently chowing down.

Oh, yes, they know they’re organic and made with the best ingredients and are absolutely fine for your baby, but they just prefer to feed her meals they’ve made from scratch.

So would you. But you gave up trying to coax her to eat the pureed butternut squash that you lovingly peeled, chopped, steamed and mashed, after she and you and the table, walls and floor ended up wearing most of it. At least she eats these.

You come away from every meeting with these ‘perfect parents’ feeling like the biggest failure. But at least your baby has spirit. And you don’t even really like kale, so why should she?

Our Own Parents
Okay, so I wouldn’t recommend ignoring this lot completely, as they’ve come to my rescue too many times to count.

It’s just that ‘It wasn’t like that in our day’ is the single most frustrating sentence in the history of parenthood.

Apparently a counterargument that is powerful enough to wipe out 30 years of progress in eight little syllables.

If you try and rebut, it will be quickly followed up with ‘well, you turned out alright, didn’t you?’

So don’t even bother. I mean; have you ever won an argument with your mum?

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