Mum Diary: Why Can’t My Toddler Use My iPad?

Do you let your pre-schoolers play with your smart phone or tablet? It’s a hugely divisive issue among parents. Some ban all screen time completely, while others go the other way and buy their pre-schoolers their own tablet computers and that weird iPotty device that lets toddlers play on an iPad while they potty train.
 
There's a real backlash against letting kids play with technology and I understand why. No one wants to see a three-year old playing Angry Birds when they could be playing outside, I certainly don’t. And that’s not just because my three-year-old Harry is rubbish at Angry Birds (he just keeps firing them backwards and laughing).

I don’t like to see children needlessly plugged into technology, so I only let my boys play silly games like that for a few minutes as an occasional treat. And when I say treat, I obviously mean a treat for me – a rare three-minute window in which to drink a hot cup of tea. But they enjoy it too.

However, just because I don’t let my boys play pointless games all day doesn’t mean we don’t use my iPad and smartphone. I think parents are crazy if they are put off using all the educational and helpful apps available because they are worried about creating tech-addict children. There’s a big difference between parking your kids in front of a screen, and using technology with your children while giving them your full attention.

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For example, I have an online subscription to a phonics website and several times a week I will sit down with Harry and my iPad, and we will do the exercises. He’s learning to read and, because using the iPad is a treat, he never gets bored.

Occasionally Harry will ask about a certain animal we’ve seen in a book or at the zoo (we are members of our nearby zoo, so we pop round very often) and I can lift up the iPad and answer his questions. He’ll ask about a type of animal and in moments I can get a video of it from the internet. We talk about it, learn about it and he remembers it because a video is more immediate than a description.

Think about how incredible this is – today’s children are growing up in a world where they can see an actual video of any animal they can think of within moments. When I was a child, learning more meant going to the library (we do that too – don’t assume that because I value technology I don’t value books). It’s such an exciting, information-rich time to live in; I don’t want to restrict their ability to use the tech tools at their disposal.

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I downloaded a toothbrush timer app on my smartphone. It counts down two minutes so I know I have brushed my sons’ teeth for long enough and it shows me which section of jaw to brush at each time so I brush evenly. It even has a dinosaur cartoon for Harry and Olly, which keeps their interest and prevents tooth-brushing struggles.

My iPad hangs over the back of my seat in the car and plays them a film on long journeys (two hours or more only) – saving us tantrums, boredom and seat kicking. I’m comfortable with them watching a film on long journeys; there isn’t much they can do apart from that.

Finally, until just recently my husband was working away for three nights and four days a week. We used the iPad every night so that he could talk to the boys and see them. At three and one, neither of them are great at using the phone but they understood that they were talking to Daddy when they could see him.

We propped the iPad up on the table and had meals together; he read the boys stories via his screen while I turned the pages; and we had family conversations rather than me spending ages on the phone while the boys lost interest.

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I suppose what I want to argue is that technology can be a wonderful, helpful asset and that parents shouldn’t be scared that screen time will turn our children into couch potatoes. If an engaged parent is sitting with the child and talking through everything they see, then what’s the problem?

As they get older, I intend to teach them a healthy level of scepticism about what they read online, and to do my best to prepare them for the dangers that can lurk there. But I don’t see why technology is automatically a bad thing, not when it’s combined with an active, healthy, outdoors lifestyle and there’s no unsupervised access. I enjoy the books, films, news and information that technology offers; why shouldn’t my children appreciate them too?

What do you think? Should toddlers be protected from all screens or is there a healthy balance?