Mum Diary: What Puppy Training Taught Me About Parenting (Yes, Really)

To my two children’s monumental delight, a few weeks ago my husband and I brought home Woody, an apricot cockapoo.

I say cockapoo – he doesn’t look like any cockapoo I’ve seen so I’ve just started referring to him as a mutt.

I love this dog. It’s a bit worrying when I compare the day we got Woody to the times I brought home my babies from the hospital.

With both of my children, it took me some time to fall properly in love with them. But with Woody there was no delay – he sat on my knee, licked my hand and my heart melted. Just like that.

And so far, everything is going smoothly with our little pooch.

Harry, our three-year-old son, is almost violently possessive over him, referring to him as “MY dog.” While 20 month old Olly shows a worrying tendency to think of him as a cushion, and keeps sitting on him.

Fortunately the pup laps up their attention, gently playing with them and retreating to his bed when he’s had enough.

I enrolled Woody in puppy training classes, promising my husband that we’d have the best behaved dog in the world. Right now, although Woody is very good natured, he’s not exactly well trained. Walking him on the lead is like flying a kite – he keeps leaping towards the sky and trying to climb trees, so the training is a must.

I’ve learned a lot in the classes – they are obviously more about training the owners – but I’m surprised at how much of it is relevant to my two pre-schoolers.

“Clear Commands They Understand”
The dog training woman is the first to admit that I am not a natural at dog handling. In our first lesson she watched me reasoning, pleading and cajoling Woody, and eventually remarked: “You know he don’t understand you, right?”

Now we’ve got it down to the few commands he does understand and life is easier.

And the same with the children; I am forever babbling on at my kids using language they don’t understand – like when I tell Harry to “dismount” instead of “get off your bike”. Lesson learned.

“Play Is Important”
When we’re training our dogs we’re regularly told to take breaks and play with them. Puppies are only babies, and they get bored and frustrated.

And the same is clearly true with children; if I don’t take some time to be silly with them then they’ll get fed up and won’t listen.

“Stay Calm To Stay In Control”
There was an awful training session where I had to leave Woody at one end of the hall, go to the other end and then call him to come. Sadly he got distracted by another owner’s scarf swinging tantalisingly near his nose and latched onto it, causing her dog to latch onto him. MAYHEM ENSUED.

I yelled his name repeatedly, trying to grab him and clip the lead back on, until the dog training woman calmly walked over, made a loud tutting noise that caused both dogs to stop and drop.

She sternly said to Woody: “Get over there,” and he slunk over to me, casting apologetic looks at the dog training lady, who clearly has some sort of magical powers over animals.

“No it’s not magic,” she said to me afterwards. “I just behave calmly, like a pack leader.”

This is a lesson I have applied to Woody and also to Harry and Olly. If I ask my toddlers to do something in a voice that suggests I think they’ll refuse, then they immediately refuse. But if I calmly and assertively tell them what’s next then they usually do it.
 
“Olly, would you try a little bit of sprout? Just a little?” I’ll ask and Olly will shake his head. But if I pop some sprout on his fork and say: “Right, here’s some sprout for you to try, yum yum,” then he will eat it. Well, chew it anyway. Then maybe take it out and rub it in his hair, but at least he’ll have tried it.

“Don’t Forget To Have Fun”
The most profound thing the dog training teacher has taught me has also been a useful reminder for time spent with my family.

She watched me one day stressing about whether Woody was sitting at the right angle (as if my lovely mongrel will ever make it to Crufts!) and whether he was listening for the command.

“Felicity, don’t forget to have fun, will you? He’s your dog, you’re meant to be having fun,” she gently reminded me.

This made me think. I spend a lot of time concentrating on raising my children; reading books on effective discipline and instilling a sense of self-worth. Sometimes I agree I’d be better off forgetting all of that and simply having more fun.

Like my puppy, they won’t be little for ever. And just like my puppy, what they want most in the world is for me to sit down and play with them. That won’t be a bad resolution for 2015.

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Do you have any New Year’s resolutions for your family? Have your say using the comments below.