Mum Diary: What I really want this Mother’s Day

Wow, you can spend a lot of money on Mother’s Day. Flowers for as much as £60, spa days for £90, personalised chocolates for £30… Where a card used to be enough, you can now spend hundreds of pounds ‘spoiling’ and ‘pampering’ your mum.

By the way, am I the only person who hates the word ‘pamper’? As in: ‘It’s nice to have a pamper,’ ‘Treat yourself to a pamper,’ and ‘I’m off for a pamper.’ It’s so twee and self-indulgent; it’s like nails down a blackboard to me.

Anyway, looking at all the adverts for vastly overpriced tulips and chocolates, I started to think about what I would actually like for Mother’s Day and none of it costs a penny. Here’s what I came up with.

First of all: a lie-in. Not a serious lie-in, the days where I could sleep past 10 are long gone. But the chance to sleep until at least 7:30/8am without having to do my baby’s 5am feed would be more relaxing than any pamper day.

[Why do toddlers ask SO many questions?!]
[Of COURSE I think my son's a genius]

Second, a shower with the door closed. Most mornings my husband goes to work and I have to shower with the door open so I can keep an eye on my toddler Harry. Poor Olly has to sit in a bouncy chair in the bathroom, while I entertain him by bawling out nursery rhymes over the sound of the water. So the chance to have a shower with the door closed, singing whatever songs I like would be good.

Third, I would like a hot cup of tea. With a biscuit and a book. And I would like to sit and drink that cup of tea while it is still so hot it scalds my throat, without once having to say: “Harry, please stop sitting on Olly’s head. We don’t sit on babies’ heads. GET OFF HIS HEAD!” And for the record, microwaving the tea an hour later because I don’t have time to make a fresh cup doesn’t count.

Finally, I would like a break from nappies. I have two children still in nappies, meaning I change dozens of them every day. Now, I don’t mind changing nappies, it can be a nice quiet moment to chat to the boys or sing a few songs. But I have changed at least four nappies every single day for the last two years and 10 months – well over 4,000 minimum and probably twice that. I’m ready for a day off.

So there you are; a perfect Mother’s Day without a tulip in sight. Although, reading back over my list, I can see that most of my top treats involve time away from my children. That’s not right at all. You see, I like the original meaning of Mother’s Day, back when it was Mothering Sunday. It used to be a Sunday set aside for servants to leave their employers for the day and walk home to visit their ‘mother church’, for a special service in their hometown or village.

[Kids say the most excrutiating things]
[Why aren't I allowed to admit I want a baby girl?]

On the way, they might gather up a few wildflowers to give their mother, but the real treat was spending time with their family and reinforcing that special bond between parents and children.

I would certainly like to spend a day relaxing at a spa with a glass of bubbly and the latest Philippa Gregory book. I’ve not spent any lengthy me-time since my first day as a mother. Lame as it sounds, the only whole night I have spent away from my firstborn Harry was the night I gave birth to Olly (for the record, that was about as far removed from a spa break as it is possible to get. I didn’t even have a bed, Olly arrived in the corridor).

But if Mothering Sunday is a special day to honour mums, then it’s pretty essential to honour the children too. It’s not Mother’s Day if I spend it apart from my family.

So, if my husband is reading this, then scrap the above. What I really want this Mother’s Day is the same humdrum stuff we do every Sunday; a long walk, followed by a long lunch, followed by a Pixar film. But maybe, just maybe, I can have that shower with the door closed first.

How will you be celebrating Mother’s Day? Share your experiences and thoughts with me and other readers using the comments below.