Mum Diary: Am I over-stimulating my toddler?

We've had an exciting Easter week – possibly a bit too exciting. First of all, it was Olly’s first birthday party and then we spent the Easter weekend on the Isle of Man.

It’s a great place for a family holiday. My toddler and baby loved going on the ferry, then we visited a wildlife park, spent the afternoon at the beach, caught a train to the top of a mountain and spent hours at the park too. By making shameless use of Harry’s hopeful little face, we even blagged a private tour of the bridge from the captain of the ship!

So when we were finally home for Easter Monday, I wanted to carry on the fun. I can’t deny that I was feeling a little smug, which is always a mistake for the mother of chaotic pre-schoolers. We’d had a brilliant weekend and now I wanted to end it on a high.

“What do you think Harry?” I enthused, local paper spread on my knee. “There’s an egg hunt, or we could go and watch a duck race. Or we could visit the museum and see the steam engines?”

Harry thought carefully, dutifully looking at the picture of the duck race preparations as I attempted to win him over to my preferred day out.

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Then he made his decision. "I'd like to play in the garden, Mummy," he said. "Then go for a ride on my balance bike."

I thought he hadn’t realised just what an exciting array of treats I had suggested and prompted again: “Are you sure, Harry? We could do something more exciting if you want.” My toddler thought some more and then asked if he could also eat his lunch in the garden, instead of at the table.

So that’s what we did, and we had a lovely, lovely day. Baby Olly spent most of the day following his big brother around, gamely waving a plastic spade, while Harry dedicated his time to moving all the sand out of the sandpit and into the flowerbeds. I’m sort of hoping that will wash away before my husband notices.

I sat watching them from a chair in the sunshine, idly wondering if it was too early for a gin and tonic (it was, but I had one in the sun when the boys had gone to bed). My husband did some DIY and occasionally took a break to swing the boys around on the grass. We had a lovely, idyllic day but we spent no money and didn’t use the car.

This got me thinking; maybe I do sometimes cram too much into their leisure time. We had a fantastically active Easter weekend, which we all enjoyed. I wouldn’t have changed that at all.

But perhaps more weekends should be spent doing the low-key activities that toddlers and babies enjoy so much. We can walk to a nearby bridge and watch the trains, we can go out with the baby trike and Harry’s balance bike, we can do colouring-in indoors and try to stop Olly eating the crayons. All these things are important and fun ways to keep pre-schoolers busy.

And then of course, sometimes it’s important to not keep them busy. Many experts suggest that children need to be left to their own resources occasionally, so that their imaginative play can develop without adult interference. As Harry gets older I have noticed that he plays increasingly complicated games when he’s on his own. I feel I must make sure he has the time and space to explore his own imagination.

Even one-year-old Olly needs time on the floor on his own – although admittedly with more careful supervision. He needs time to practise walking (he’s so close!), to coast around the furniture, to get frustrated when he can’t do things and try even harder. My sister and I jokingly call this ‘healthy neglect’ but it’s definitely healthy – it’s not fair to endlessly hover over your offspring. They need time to do their own thing.

I love going out as a family and spending time together visiting steam fairs and museums or going on long walks and trails. But this Easter weekend has taught me that my children need downtime too. For a toddler, it’s important to have time to simply race toy trucks around a sandpit.

What do you think? Is it possible to spend too much time with your kids? Have your say using the comments below.