How to get taken seriously at work

Most workplaces have more than their fair share of chest-puffing Alpha wannabes and their power posturing often diminishes the confidence of the people in their teams.

When someone puffs up to over-emphasise their status it can seem to throw up only two behavioural options: fight or flight. Either you puff up yourself and climb into the ring to take them on in a direct challenge, or you display a more compliant stance to avoid any chance of conflict or competition.

Either way you lose though. When we play submissive we get treated like doormats, but why be drawn into a fight when all you want to do is to get on with your job and prove your worth properly and fairly?

The ideal answer is assertiveness, presenting a confident presence without the need to treat every transaction as a battle for power. In a competitive workplace this means registering your credentials via your non-verbal signals as well as your words and tone.

Get the balance right and you’ll be taken seriously in the workplace.

[How to be more confident at work]

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-  Never walk into a room trying to be invisible, with your eyes down as you tiptoe to a seat at the back. Take a moment before you enter and pull up to full height as you breathe out gently and roll your shoulders back and down. Relax your facial expression and make sure you right hand is free for handshakes.
       
- Use the ‘eye connect’ as you walk in. This means allowing your eyes to flick around the room, greeting other people with a friendly, confident eye expression.

 - Give good shake. A firm handshake with eye contact and a smile will sell your status more than a limp or timid shake.

 - Rehearse your introductions. You should be able to tell people who you are and what you do without looking or sounding awkward or embarrassed.
       
 - Always carry a good bag, good pens and good notebooks, even if your work environment is casual. We define ourselves by our accessories. Keep yours smart, neat and in working order.

 - Don’t act distracted. High-powered people tend to stay focused. Put your phone and iPad away during meetings and networking events. Never text or read messages while you’re talking to someone else.

 - Physical power signals entail a confident use of space, which means no self-diminishing via self-hugging or slumping, hunching or trying to look small. Work your space but without invading the space of others as that looks arrogant. Sit into the back of your chair with your elbows on the arms. Use open, emphatic gestures when you speak and place your hands on the table if you’re at a meeting.

 - Sell your ideas and thoughts to yourself before you try to sell them to other people. If your idea is still part-baked it will reflect in your uncertain body language.

 - Drop your vocal tone. We connect a slightly deeper tone with higher status, so no squeaking or shrill vocals. Try breathing out slowly to calm any nerves before ‘aiming’ your voice direct to your audience rather than allowing it to fly up above their heads.

- Avoid scooping up vocally or the dying fall. Scooping up is when your voice rises at the end of every sentence, turning statements into questions. The dying fall is when your voice dips or dies away altogether.

 - Keep your gestures below shoulder height. Any higher and you’ll begin to look too flaky.

 - Never apologise before you speak. Phrases like ‘I know this idea might sound a bit stupid...’ should never come out of your mouth at meetings.

 - Avoid the eye-check. Low-status, low-power people are constantly eye-checking others as they speak in a bid to obtain back-up and agreements. It’s good to monitor your audience but not before you get to the end of every point.

 - Never self-heckle. This means either talking yourself down or doing it with your gesticulations. Shrugging, giggling, dismissive hand gestures or phrases like ‘this might not be my strong point’ won’t help to sell your messages.

 - Pick the power seat in the room. Never sit at the back ,and if you’re round a board table try to pick the chair slightly diagonally opposite to the boss.
 
 - Always take a hosting role in your own workplace. Be charming and confident. Some people act as though they’re in an alien environment, even when dealing with clients or visitors.

 - Get a copy of the agenda for any business meeting you’re attending and plan out when you will want make your points. Never sit in silence, always make your voice heard in a positive way.

 - Apply the three minute rule to your meetings, meaning you will always say something within the first three minutes. The longer you wait to speak the harder it gets.

 - Use clear, concise speech patterns with no verbal fillers, like ‘You know’ ‘Sort of’ ‘Kind of’ or ‘Ums’ and ‘Ers’.
 
 - Keep your workplace space tidy and free from clutter. Chaotic space suggests chaotic thinking.