Gone Girl's Rosamund Pike On Marriage: 'We Expect Too Much'

The central characters might be fairly dislikeable on their own, but in both the book and the film of Gone Girl, marriage isn't exactly the star of the show.

The story taps into the scariest part of all relationships - how well do you REALLY know the other person you've agreed to share your life with?

Amy and Nick Dunne might be at the most messed up end of marriage, but to a lesser degree can't we all relate? Does our partner know absolutely everything about us? Our every thought? And would we want them to?

Rosamund Pike, who stars as 'Amazing' Amy - the unhinged wife of Nick (Ben Affleck) bent on emotional destruction - reckons we all expect too much from marriage these days. That instead of expecting our partner to be all things to us, we should rely on other people and time apart to keep things fresh.

“In my grandmother's day, you wouldn't expect your husband to fulfil the same need in you as your sister, or girlfriends, or colleagues at work. You'd have different needs met by different people.

“Now we want all our needs met by one person, and I don't believe that's possible. Or rather, it is, but I don't think it's universally achievable."

Relating to her own relationship (Pike has a two year old son and is pregnant with a second child with partner Robie Uniacke, who she's been with since 2009) she added: “I do think separation is key to a relationship.

"I go out with my partner and we are put next to each other – there's a feeling of, 'What, you don't think we can't operate without each other?'"

But body language and relationships expert Judi James isn't convinced the actress's relationship advice right for everyone.

Judi James said: "If I were creating the formula for the perfect modern marriage it would probably be:

'Avoid taking marriage advice from unfeasibly gorgeous Hollywood actresses who have been dating their guy for a mere five years or so.'

She explains:

"What Rosamund really means is ‘separation is key to my relationship, right now, with this particular man.’ Everyone who falls in love believes they have cracked the smug code when it comes to relationship living, as their relationship is so totally, utterly perfect and will clearly last forever.

"But trust no-one when it comes to formulas like this, as every relationship is different and every marriage has its own DNA. Some things work for some, some don’t."

And when it comes to worrying that we're putting too much pressure on our partners to be everything, again Judi believes it depends on the relationship.

"Rosamund looks at her grandparents' generation and suggests our current expectations are too high because, unlike them, we expect our partner to be our best friend and work colleague as well as our lover.

"But when we look at our parents’ and grandparents’ marriages we often see something one-dimensional because it would have been unnatural for them to bare all in terms of sexuality and friendship, compared to how our ‘selfie’ generation is now."

But what Judi does warn is that the luxury of choice could be threatening modern relationships.

"If we’re victims of anything in terms of enduring relationships it’s probably freedom and choice.

"Very few long-term marriages are based on the stage of love know as Passionate Love. This is the lusty, stomach-churning stage and because we are force-fed this as the normal standard by the media and by celebrities we can wrongly feel that the stage known as Companionate Love is a let-down and a disaster rather than a triumph.

"One form of potential relationship bliss for the hard-working, stressed-out modern couple is the form of unconditional love you probably had from your parents.

"It’s knowing you have a team of two and that by showing every facet of your personality to one another you can strengthen your bonds rather than eroding them.

"It's not the only option in your relationship but that cosy double-act joy is what many long-term couples really feel smug about, not the ‘quality time’ or ‘date nights’ or the gap between you at the dinner party table. "

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