Foreign Faux Pas: When Local Customs Go Wrong

It’s a familiar Embarrassing Dad moment. You’re abroad en familie, and your father genuinely believes that adopting the native accent slooooooowly and VERY LOUDLY will make himself understood.

In Italy, the British-middle-aged-man-thinks-he’s-Don Corleone routine is generally well-received, but act like an extra in ‘Allo ‘Allo! at a restaurant in France, and you’ll be shown le door.

Travelling can be a minefield of cultural misunderstandings. It’s easy to cause offence when you don’t know the language or local customs.

There was the time I asked for 'the whore please' instead of the bill at the Four Seasons in Moscow.

I found my linguistic blunder so hilarious that during the taxi ride home, I jokingly pointed to my mother while repeating the word over and over again, much to the driver’s horror. He was so appalled, he refused to take a tip from me. (Then again, there probably aren’t many places in the world where calling your mother a whore is socially acceptable.)

Here are some of our favourite lost in translations moments:

LOOK, DON'T TOUCH

The faux pas
The Americans with their touchy-feely ways – thanks to them, we’re now a nation obsessed with self-help rhetoric, therapy and “hugging it out”. Such demonstrative behaviour may be making its way into the general populace, but for many of us, it just doesn't sit right with our stiff-upper-lip ways.

So when Michelle Obama threw a casual arm around Queen Elizabeth on their meeting, there was a collective holding of breath. One does not touch the Queen. Fortunately, though clearly surprised and recoiling slightly from the touch, Liz didn’t seem overly vexed by the breach of protocol, and even placed a friendly hand on the back her new American pal.

The lesson learned
We British scare easily. Veer on the side of caution and think handshakes, not hugs.

DON'T SAY IT WITH FLOWERS

The faux pas
On an official visit to China in November 2010, David Cameron and his delegation wore poppies to honour the war dead as is our yearly custom. But in China, the poppy is an emblematic reminder of the country’s defeat at the hands of the British in the 19th-century Opium Wars.

Chinese officials requested Cameron and party remove the offending symbols, but they refused.

The lesson learned
Never beat the Chinese at anything. They’ll seek revenge centuries later, winning more Olympic Gold medals than the entire population of the UK, and growing a GDP that makes ours look like a failed African state.

BOW TO THE PRESSURE

The faux pas
“I was in Tokyo on a business trip for the first time and didn’t bother to brush up on the etiquette before I left,” says Sean Garrett, a City trader. “In Japan, when someone offers you their business card, you’re meant to hold it in both hands, bow and make a massive deal of how great they are.

"I shook this big shot’s hand in front of a formal Japanese delegation, slapped him on the back and put his card straight into the pocket of my jacket. Everyone looked horrified.”

The lesson learned
Take some yoga classes before travelling to Japan for bow-friendly hips.

RED CARD

The faux pas
Anna Kime, a marketing executive from London had a similar experience in China.

"When I was presented with a business card in Beijing, I said thanks, didn't take it with two hands like you're supposed to, then stuck it in my back pocket and sat down on it! The party I was with was shocked."

The lesson learned
Business cards are like babies to the Chinese. Would sit on somebody's baby? (The answer to this one is no.)

SAY NO TO DRUGS

The faux pas
“My family and I were on holiday in Disneyland and, being Irish, we were after somewhere we could have a few drinks and maybe some live music – a good time, basically,” says Toni Davies from Dublin.

“My dad asked one of the staff dressed up as Snow White where we could find some ‘good craic'. She looked like she’d just been told Santa was a paedophile.”

The lesson learned
Conservative America doesn’t get more conservative than Disneyland. Avoid ambiguous words or phrases, and forget about anything harder than a Coke. In fact, Irish holidaymakers should probably stick to Disneyland Paris.

AVOID EYE CONTACT

The faux pas

The British don’t seem to have much luck with the Chinese. When asked his opinion of Beijing during a 1986 trip, Prince Phillip responded, “Ghastly”. On the same visit, he also famously told a British student, “If you stay here much longer you’ll go home with slitty eyes”.

But then Prince Phillip could have an entire article dedicated to his foreign faux pas.

The lesson learned
It’s generally advisable not to point out the biological differences between you and your host nation. Also, best refrain from telling a local you find their city visually abhorrent.

SEEING IS BELIEBING

The faux pas
After visiting Anne Frank’s house, Justin Bieber left a note in the guest book saying if she were alive today, he hopes she would have been a Belieber.

The lesson learned
Kind of goes of without saying, but never use a Holocaust victim’s experience for self-promoting purposes.

JUICING

The faux pas
“I was obsessed with papaya juice when I was travelling through South America and kept telling the locals how much I loved it,” says Rachel Lundy, a solicitor from Belfast.

“I wondered why they were constantly sniggering and it was weeks before I found out that over there, papaya juice is slang for female genitalia.”

The lesson learned
Make like a nine-year-old and familiarise yourself every rude word in the Spanish dictionary before venturing to the Americas.

7 ODD INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW

• Punctuality obsessives look away now – in Venezuela, it's considered rude to turn up to a friend's home for a meal early or on time. A 10- to 15-minute delay is the ideal.

• Get to grips with chopsticks: Playing with, pointing or stabbing food with your chopsticks is impolite in Japan.

• Don't go to Denmark if you're unmarried at 30 or you can expect to be covered in pepper.

• Silence is golden in Finnish business, where long periods without saying anything are common during meetings.

• Red means dead in South Korea, so opt for black ink when writing correspondence.

• Ask before taking photos in Africa. In rural Ghana, for example, the locals believe that in taking their picture, you are stealing part of their soul.

• Want to keep your Russian beau sweet with a beautiful bunch of yellow tulips? Think again. Yellow blooms are considered a sign of deceit or a relationship break-up.

Happy travels!

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