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Child Discipline Tactics: 8 Ideas That Really Work (Smacking Not Included)

All parents have to play bad cop from time to time and discipline their child for acting up – testing the boundaries is a big part of growing up. But there are plenty of ways you can teach your child right from wrong without resorting to violence

There’s a huge amount of debate surrounding smacking naughty children - some parents are really against it and others think it's acceptable as it was done to them when they were children.

But with so many creative alternatives to disciplining a child, it’s an action that no parent actually needs to resort to – and saves your little one from being afraid of you.

Often children don't know when they've done something wrong [Rex]
Often children don't know when they've done something wrong [Rex]



So next time your preschooler throws her cereal all over the floor because you won’t let her wear her tutu to nursery or your five-year-old goes all Picasso on your kitchen walls, try out some of these discipline techniques for size.

And remember – think of discipline as a form of learning, not a punishment. Young children often don’t know that they’re doing something wrong, they just want to see how you react.  

Speak Quietly
When speaking to your child about something he’s done wrong, drop down to his level and use a firm, but quiet, voice that he’ll recognise when he’s behaviour has been unacceptable.

“Shouting can often make children shout back or get so upset that they don't listen to what you’re trying to say,” says leading parenting expert Fi Star-Stone.

“By getting down to your little one’s height you are making eye contact and ensuring they can hear and are listening to what you are saying.”

The old 'counting to 10' rule applies in any stressful situation [Rex]
The old 'counting to 10' rule applies in any stressful situation [Rex]



Use Time Outs
While this doesn’t tend to work for children under the age of two (as they don’t understand the concept), a time out can be really effective. And it doesn’t have to mean sitting on the naughty step alone.

“It can mean simply a way of calming an angry or very upset child down,” says Fi. “Young children really can't sit on a step and 'think about their behaviour,' but they can sit with you for a while, away from an activity to calm down.

“Reassure and remind your child calmly why he’s there for a little while with you. Explain why he’s missing an activity and why he’s been removed. Then when he’s calm, he can return.”

A time out doesn't have to be this severe and it can work best if you sit with your child [Rex]
A time out doesn't have to be this severe and it can work best if you sit with your child [Rex]



Be Consistent
Stay strong – you need to keep the same ‘rules’ so your child knows what’s right and what’s wrong.

This is easier said than done as they’ll be a day when you’re completely exhausted and just want to let your child do what he wants to avoid the drama, but your child needs to know what to expect from you.  

Distract Your Child
Distraction works wonders when it comes to tantrums or negative behaviour such as fighting over toys – particularly if your child’s still a toddler.

“If you see a situation arising, get in quick and use this avoidance technique to calm him down,” says Fi.

If your child’s a little older, address the situation verbally. “A simple 'I can see you both want that toy, lets see if we can find another the same/we can take it in turns having a go' in a calm way, while taking the toy off them to stop the squabble, is a great way of distracting,” says Fi.

Distract your child with something else when he starts getting frustrated [Rex]
Distract your child with something else when he starts getting frustrated [Rex]



Talk About Consequences
It's important to always show children how and why negative behaviour has consequences.

“For example, an older child who refuses to tidy up could have those toys taken away for a while,” says Fi. “ Explain that if he can’t tidy them up, he can't play with them."

If your child refuses dinner but demands dessert, don’t give in to his demands.

“Explain how the main meal is important and you need healthy food to fill your body before treat food such as ice-cream or cake,” says Fi. “Ice cream without healthy food first will make him ill.”

Uh oh... fussy eater strikes again [Rex]
Uh oh... fussy eater strikes again [Rex]

Get Your Child To Fix His Mistake
Add this to your bag of parenting tricks if you’ve got an older child. When your child breaks something, instead of getting angry, tell him he has to fix it or help out with the housework until he’s ‘earned’ enough to buy a new one.

Allow Re-Dos
We all make mistakes, so it can be worth giving your child the chance to ‘re-do’ his bad behaviour.

Use Reverse Rewards
It’s true what they say – children benefit from rewards more than punishments, so make sure you highlight your little one’s good behaviour. You don’t need to give him sweet treats or anything to lavish; a simple cuddle and kiss or an activity of his choice (within reason!) works.  

What discipline methods work for your child? Share your tips in the comments below.

[Smacking A Child: Pope Francis Says It’s OK If They’ve Misbehaved]

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