The Wedding Dress: I DECIDED. Where Is My Medal?

I finally made The Dress Decision.

As I've whined on about before, I've been very torn about the whole wedding outfit debacle and was keen to go as non traditional as possible.

In this I have utterly failed.

In my non-traditional phase a few months ago I actually bought a green dress. Done and dusted, I thought. Go me. Go untraditional, quirky, green-wedding-dressed me. (I basically wanted to be this bride.)

Then I went wedding dress trying on JUST FOR FUN and as you probably could have predicted, I fell in love with a white wedding dress that was super duper out of my budget.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. But I really couldn't afford it.

The green dress suddenly looked dulled, it's vibrancy marred by not being The Other Dress.

The wedding dress I loved was subtle, slim-fit and flattering - so at least I haven't completely lost my mind and fallen in love with a meringue. Because believe me, it happens.

But even though it is designer (David Fielden), it's still just another white dress; something I'd been determined to avoid when I began my journey to the aisle.

My mother wasn't much help. She liked the green one. My father too decided to inform me that he doesn't like white dresses. But was it already too late? The white dress seed had been sewn.

Then I was asked to be bridesmaid for one of my best friends. Her colour scheme for bridesmaids dresses? Green. Pretty much exactly my dress in fact.

It also seemed that everyone who saw me in the white dress was sold on it, and had the price not been exorbitant, I'd have probably bought it then and there.

But I couldn't bring myself to put down that much money, especially knowing that I'd have to add on the cost of alterations (around £200 on their own) and a percentage addition because the boutique charged for credit cards (absolutely unforgiveable given the cost of these things and the fact that buying on credit means you get more protection on your purchase should anything go wrong).

So I tried to return my heart to the beautiful green dress I'd loved not so long ago and resolved to forget the whole thing.

But I couldn't forget the dress. I found some pictures of it on the internet and looked at them occasionally. I showed everyone in the office. They all really liked it.

I have an admission to make. I'm not a massive clothes person. I like to look good and I follow fashion but it's not my number one thing. And when it comes to the wedding, what I look like isn't the top priority either. Obviously thanks to the huge pressure being pushed onto me I care very much how I'm going to look, but I'm just about managing to keep it in perspective. So I never expected this to be an issue.

I was just not supposed to stress about the dress. It was supposed to be the easiest thing - a nice, original green one. Job done.

The more I stressed and wobbled about my indecisiveness, the worse I felt with myself.

So I did what any self-respecting bride-to-be who can't afford her dress would do. I went to Ibiza and nearly bankrupted myself.

Back in the UK it was then even more clear that I could not buy The Dress. Half-heartedly I tapped up Preloved. And there it was.

THE DRESS.

The actual dress in my actual size for my actual budget. IN LONDON.

I messaged the owner immediately. She rang me straight back. It was all going so well.

We arranged for me to go over to try the dress on and I turned up sweaty and excited, straight off the Tube one evening to put my grubby paws all over the beautiful dress. Fortunately before I could do any damage I realised, washed my hands, had some water and calmed down.

Then I tried it on, and it bloody fit didn't it?

I'd gone on my own so I didn't have anyone else to offer their opinion. In my initial reasoning I thought this was a good idea and that the decision would be all mine. But I wished I'd brought my Best Lady along. Instead I had to take some snaps and Whatsapp her them (and the entire office, fashion experts that they are). Patiently waiting for a response I walked up and down the room, staring at myself in the mirror.

Lydia, the original owner of the dress, showed me pictures of her wedding and insisted the dress fit me better than her (even though she'd been fitted by David Fielden HIMSELF!).

After staring at myself in the mirror for far too long I was going a bit mad and we decided I should take lots of pictures, then go away and think about it.

On the way out Whatsapp responses came thick and fast, all positive, including one comparing my derriere (completely falsely but I'll take it) with Pippa Middleton's.

It seemed a no brainer but I was starting to have doubts. It was still a bit pricey, it was WHITE not green and there are still months until the wedding, what if I see another one?

Speaking to some (male) friends in the pub later I was told I shouldn't get it if I had even the slightest doubts. Thanks lads.

But after driving myself mad for 24 hours, I decided to get it. I rang Lydia, did a bit of bargaining and secured it for less than half price, with the added bonus of no fittings and no credit card fee. I was to pick it up a few days later.

The relief that washed over me was almost tangible. I instantly knew I'd made the right decision.

I brought it home and have tried it on periodically ever since. It will need taking up (I'm 5"2 so it was always going to) but other than that it fits like a glove and I feel like a proper grown up woman in it.

Adam finally admitted that he was glad I was going white, so I would look like a bride after all, and my mum did an impressive backtrack. I haven't bothered telling my dad. I will just have to tell him before hand that he absolutely has to say I look beautiful even in a white dress, whatever he really thinks.

And that's that. It's mine, it's over and I've ended up in ridiculously expensive designer dress after all.

What did I learn from the experience?

That everyone can get knocked for six by a wedding dress. Who knew? And expect to change your mind. Regularly.

On a practical level, I'd say look for second hand dresses, because so what if you're not the first one to wear it? You'll be the one to keep it, and for a fraction of the price.

And don't listen to anyone else. It's your decision.

Also, when it's made, don't look at any other dresses of any other kind until after the wedding. Picture researching this piece was a MINEFIELD.

Now, where IS my medal?