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To trim or not to trim?

Dear Lady and The Scamp,

My girlfriend said she'd like me to trim the hair on my private parts. I like it when women are shaved but I think it's weird for a man to do it. Should I?

Brian Fox

Kevin says:
I have long had sympathy for the hairy woman. And by that I mean all of them, as that is how God intended her. It seems harsh the way female hirsuteness has become increasingly outlawed, although I admit I too have been sucked in by this bush-whacking mentality. Whereas in my youth I navigated the bristling wilderness with indifference, it now prompts a raised eyebrow. I have been programmed to accept the notion that women are not allowed hair anywhere except their head.

But why aren't they? It's merely fashion. And I think it's unfair, and needless. Yet I have remained silent on this issue, until now… now that men are getting dragged into it too. Now I say: enough is enough. It's only hair, it means no harm. And yes Brian Fox, I think it is weird for a grown man to remove the hairs from around his member.

[Relevant: The key to supersoft skin]

I have seen other men's penises, of course I have. In the showers at football (inadvertently, you understand) or in some films I kind of saw on the internet. And I'm not sure I know what the fuss is about. But men are doing it, I know. This is why your girlfriend heard about it. If you comply with her wish, others will be next. We will be powerless to stop the momentum of this thing and our lives will be slightly more inconvenienced forever.

My advice, I think, is to stand naked in front of the mirror and just be honest with yourself. Is it an aberration, or is your girlfriend merely the latest victim of a fad that makes everyone's life more difficult? If it's the latter, then I say stop. Let's stop this madness now, before I am forced to take a razor to my own scruffy appendage.

Christine says:
That's odd. Most men jump at the chance of getting to grips with a Trim 'n' Edge when their garden looks a bit wild and overgrown but then suddenly think it's weird when their own vegetable patch could do with some ground clearance. Don't listen to Kevin, it's not weird, it's just polite. You don't always walk around with a full beard do you? Despite that being the way nature might have intended you to be. I'm guessing it wasn't Mother Nature that invented the five-blade razor.

This seems to me a case of what is good for the goose is not good for the gander and if your girlfriend is prepared to do some site maintenance, I don't see why you can't repay the courtesy. You don't have to overdo it; most women would not be keen on a man that is more hairless than they are. There is a difference between a short back and sides and a full 'Duncan Goodhew'. So maybe start off with a good trim first and see how that looks. You can always progress later to topiary shapes, cricket lawn lines and the pejazzle (a male vajazzle apparently — don't ask).

Just be careful if you're using scissors and definitely leave the gardening shears in the shed. I'd opt for a beard trimmer with a guard for the beginner. If you're still reticent, the other thing you must remember is: have you ever noticed when you trim the weeds back in the garden, how much bigger the water feature looks? Just something to bear in mind..

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