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Don’t Blame Me, I Was Born Flaky

Psychologists explain why everyone has that friend who is always late and forgets your birthday

Every friendship group has one – that person who is always up for a Sunday roast or a two-week American road trip or Glastonbury, in theory.

But as sure as Kim Kardashian gets her kit off for absolutely no reason, at the last minute that friend will find some reason to cancel on those plans, usually with an excuse so flimsy even Stevie Wonder could see through it.

Does this look familiar? There's a gene to blame for that [Rex]
Does this look familiar? There's a gene to blame for that [Rex]


Rather than expend your valuable energy working yourself up into the kind of frenzy reserved only for anally efficient people forced to interact with scatterbrained morons, spare a thought for these poor individuals also known as Chronic Flakers.

Flakiness is not just an annoying personality trait, but is the result of a lack of conscientiousness according to psychologists in the US.

Brent Roberts, professor of psychology at the University of Illinois, Champaign, found that a common factor in those prone to flakiness is this inability to control their impulses and be organised, which results in chronic lateness, forgetfulness and the reason why you’ve lost hundreds of pounds on deposits for holidays that never happened.

On the other hand, highly conscientious people do better at school, are seen as more honest and are less likely to get divorced than the average person. They even live longer as the chances are they don’t partake in risky behaviour like smoking, excessive drinking and unprotected sex.

Procrastination, yes that old chestnut, is at the heart of all flakiness. Why do today what can be put off til tomorrow is the life mantra of all chronic procrastinators and according to Professor Joseph Ferrari from DePaul University, around 20 per cent of us fall into this group.

The eternal struggle of the Chronic Flaker [Tumblr]
The eternal struggle of the Chronic Flaker [Tumblr]


"You can call them free spirits if you like, but these people are really irresponsible," Professor Ferrari told Psychology Today.

“They think that if they don't do it, someone else will. Procrastinators would always rather be known for a lack of effort than a lack of ability.”

The good news is that flakiness is not a life sentence and the older we get, the more conscientious we become thanks to growing social responsibilities.

“The way our society is structured is a path toward responsibility. Bad things happen to you if you don't increase your conscientiousness level,” according to Professor Roberts.

Settling down and having a family force us not only to grow up, but also to start thinking of others.

“These investments call for people to be more responsible, and they respond to it.”

Ah yes, getting married and having kids. I’d love to! What, August 2018? Damn, I think I’m washing my hair…

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