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Great Comic Relief Bake Off 2015: Michael Sheen's Perfect Pavlova Topples Jameela Jamil's Disastrous Dessert

Marvellous meringues took on kitchen cluelessness in this week’s competition

It was an evening of firsts in the Bake Off tent last night. The perfect pavlova was produced, education campaigner/Gordon’s missus Sarah Brown was so utterly charming you forgot she’s married to the grumpiest man in Britain, and one contestant thought a quail’s egg was made out of chocolate.

This week's contestants (clockwise from left): Michael Sheen, Jameela Jamil, Sarah Brown and David Mitchell [BBC]
This week's contestants (clockwise from left): Michael Sheen, Jameela Jamil, Sarah Brown and David Mitchell [BBC]


More surprising still, all the bakers were actually pretty good. Except Radio 1 DJ Jameela Jamil (responsible for the quail’s egg comment), who had ‘never handled butter before with (her) bare hands’. Just what she has handled it with wasn’t made explicit.

Funnyman David Mitchell and actor Michael Sheen joined the proceedings, hosted this week by Jo Brand. On the menu was shortbread, pork pies and pavlova.

After an inauspicious start – David seemed to have difficulty mastering the art of sieving, while the filling for his mini shortbread Victoria sandwiches was more red berry broth than jam – everyone got their act together. Ish.

[BBC]
[BBC]


The lovely Sarah produced a cheering batch of red nose shortbreads filled with vanilla buttercream that impressed the judges, Michael’s ginger, clove and cinnamon Welsh dragons looked a big old mess, but were perfectly spiced, and David’s Eton Mess-style offerings, though visually ‘hideous’, according to Paul, tasted delicious.

Sarah Brown's adorable biscuits [BBC]
Sarah Brown's adorable biscuits [BBC]


Even Jameela’s chocolate, orange and marshmallow shortbread, despite being so dry they made Paul choke, looked rather nice.

No Nigella
Sadly, it all went downhill from there for the woman with The Shiniest Hair in the World. She had no idea what lard was, added oil instead of vinegar to her meringue mixture and impressively managed to both undercook and burn her pavlova tiers.

DJ Jameel Jamil admitted she was 'no Nigella'. You're telling us! [BBC]
DJ Jameel Jamil admitted she was 'no Nigella'. You're telling us! [BBC]


‘I’m no Nigella,’ she judiciously observed as the camera panned back on a post-apocalyptic scene. If, you know, the end of the world was precipitated by exploding raspberries.

Everyone else, though, performed well in the remaining challenges. David, whose technique was to ‘copy Sarah, because she looks like she knows how to cook things’ produced some cracking pork pies that secured him victory in the technical round.

David Mitchell nailed the technical round with his quail's egg pork pies [BBC]
David Mitchell nailed the technical round with his quail's egg pork pies [BBC]


Michael got a bit lard happy making his pavlova for the showstopper challenge. Chucking in the whole block instead of the specified 40g, he was forced to start over, but after that things went swimmingly for the Frost/Nixon star.

Competition was tough – Sarah’s coconut, lime and mango pavlova, inspired by her school days in Africa, was a tropical triumph and David’s rocket-shaped meringue (inexplicably dyed a revolting shade of grey) was declared ‘stunning’ by Paul.

Sarah Brown's exotic pavlova was inspired by her childhood in Africa [BBC]
Sarah Brown's exotic pavlova was inspired by her childhood in Africa [BBC]


Jameela's, actually, it’s probably best not to talk about Jameela’s attempt.

The clear winner, however was Michael, whose lemon curd and passionfruit pavlova was ‘sheer perfection!’ ‘Absolutely stunning!’ ‘You nailed it 100%’ cried Paul. Michael punched the air and did that really irritating ‘C’mon!’ thing footballers do after scoring a goal, then said his perfect pavlova was going into the National Museum Wales.

Michael Sheen's perfect pavlova [BBC]
Michael Sheen's perfect pavlova [BBC]


Jameela’s hometown museum of Burgh House and Hampstead is unlikely to be queuing up for her I-buggered up-the-meringues-so-here’s-an-Eton Mess-instead creation, but at least she has very lovely hair.

See you next week for the final Comic Relief GBBO!

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