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The Rules Of Engagement - Are We Supposed To Play It Cool Or Not?

Pay for dinner, hop into bed and text back right away..... But does it always work?

This week the dating world can't stop taking about Blake Lavak.

The author of Own That Guy in 60 Days, Blake is on a mission to teach women how to be proactive and break all the traditional rules of dating.

Want him to commit? Sleep with him.

On a first date? Pay for his dinner.

Blake Lavak says throw caution to the wind and hop into bed RIGHT AWAY! [Rex]
Blake Lavak says throw caution to the wind and hop into bed RIGHT AWAY! [Rex]

However, matchmakers and housewives have long been preaching from a different set text - The Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

Laying out “time-tested rules on how to capture the heart of Mr Right”, this book is all about holding back, never returning calls and essentially playing dead.

Rule no. 15: No More Than Casual Kissing On A First Date

Rule no. 4. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a First Date

Well it's been a racy education for me and I'm now comfortable insisting that, after the age of 21-years-old, sleeping with someone on a first date isn't the best game to play.

But then again, my greatest love came out of a one night stand so...

Sometimes you just have to do whatever you want. [Giphy]
Sometimes you just have to do whatever you want. [Giphy]

But, if you're wanting an example of when taking the reins can go really, really wrong, have a read of this story:

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Banker Slash Film Maker

A friend of mine met a handsome blonde banker on New Year’s Eve.

Choosing between two men that night, she decided to forgo the fun as anything - but really rather mouthy - rugby boy, for an evening spent chatting to this sophisticated young man.

By the end of the night they were kissing on the washing machine at the party and he took her number.

The next week, he invited her out on a date.

Having done some background research through friends she now knew the following:

He had been a banker up until recently and was now pursuing his interests in nature journalism.

Swoon.

The first date was a home cooked meal in his grand house.

The next, they decided to venture out.

She picked a restaurant she knew well - a little pricey but sod it 'it's Friday!', she thought.

The meal was fun, if a little formal, and when the bill arrived they both reached for their wallets.

Full of bolshiness, she swept his hand away and said, “No really I insist”.

He suggested they went Dutch; she told him not to worry.

So he snatched his card away and she paid the good man.

Flash forward to later that night.

A few drinks later... [Rex]
A few drinks later... [Rex]

They spent the evening carolling around pubs, her picking up the cheque, him charming strangers they joined.

Returning to his, they finally had sex and went to bed.

The next morning, the mood had changed.

She woke up and he was on his laptop. He barely looked at her. She tried to make conversation, but he looked sheepish and then rolled over.

He asked her what her plans were. She took the hint and left.

Confused about the whole thing she held off a few days then texted, 'All OK? I had a fun night.'

She heard back a few hours later: 'Listen it was fun, but I felt a little emasculated throughout. It's just a tough time for me at the moment and I might be leaving town for work anyway.'

Really??

They never spoke again.

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So what's the takeaway here?

Don't listen to Blake Lavak when he tells you to pay for dates? Not really, it can be a pretty slick move.

Just make sure, if you're going to break the traditional rules of dating, you pick a 21st century target.

And don’t be a flashy idiot.

[Food Versus Sex: Why You SHOULD Sometimes Pick A Side]

[New Year's Kiss Fail: Vomit Splatters Are NOT Sexy]

Nana is the newest addition to our Yahoo Lifestyle blogging team. She's runs a bespoke dating service called Social Concierge.