Entrepreneurs And Egos - The Problem With Dating A Whizz Kid

When I ask my single clients what they look for in a partner, there’s one thing that always comes up:

PASSION.

And they don’t just mean skills in the bedroom.

What they want, is a lover who has something in life that drives them.  

A job, a hobby, an aim, an ambition.

Well, if you are looking for a "live life to the max" kinda character, then grab yourselves an entrepreneur. Right?

Entrepreneurs are fearless and driven. They have decided upon their raison d’être and now live a sleepless life devoted to "making it."

However, the price you pay for their sparkiness is often WAY too high.

The question is: Do we want to date people obsessed with their jobs, or just obsessed with us?

The App Man

Everyone wants to make an app these days, but dating an app creator can be RUBBISH.

A client of mine came to me the other day with a story about a recent relationship.  

She was meeting a man who had an idea for an app.

He had secured 50K in investment and was now hooked on his impending success.

He suggested they meet up in Shoreditch  - ten minutes from the Silicon Roundabout and a few steps from his office door.

Arriving at the bar, he looked like a mess.

Bloodshot eyes, coffee stained shirt, two-day stubble.

The girl wondered if she’d have to carry the conversation.

Not so.

The app man locked in fiercely and spent the next two hours firing carefully constructed questions her way.

At first, she LOVED the attention.  Who doesn’t like to talk about themselves?

It felt like a bond of intimacy was forming.

He soon went in for a kiss and suggested a taxi to his.

She said yes - heart on her sleeve.

The next morning there was no awkwardness – it had been intense and fun.

But things were not as they seemed.

A Case of Priorities

Their next date was in two weeks.

The next one happened a fortnight later.

The dates were fun and wild and she had grown used to answering his quickfire questions.

But she was no closer to knowing a thing about him...

As time went on, she grew attached, but the gaps continued.

Bringing it up with him one morning over breakfast she told him "I’d like to see you more."

He nodded in what seemed to be agreement.

The next gap was three weeks and she started to worry.

He told her they were fine – he was just focused at the moment.

The next gap was a month and then…. it went quiet.

What Happened?

I met the man weeks later by chance and he confided in me about his reasons.

“It’s just that it had stopped becoming fun”, he said, but it was easy to see through this excuse.

"She was angry - so I didn’t see the point of hanging with someone who would be glum. …My social time is PRECIOUS," he said.

The dates had threatened to turn into a real relationship.

He was a thrillseeker, invested in his app, his ambitions and himself.

…..
 
So what’s the takeaway here?

That entrepreneurs are a waste of time? No, but it’s harder to keep them interested.

What they look for in a partner is ‘spark’ and independence.

When you live a life of extreme highs and lows, it’s harder to accept the plateau (and demands) that a relationship offers.

The one thing the entrepreneur fears most is boredom. So dating often becomes just a past time to excel at - a game rather than a means to an end.

But a genuine relationship? Well, they’ll get round to that when they’ve "MADE IT."

Nana is the newest addition to our Yahoo Lifestyle blogging team. She's runs a bespoke dating service called Social Concierge.

Check out her full bio HERE.

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