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Baby Blog: Why Did No One Warn Me About The Nightmare That's Teething?

Our new mum is shocked by the realities of teething...

My baby book claims that "Babies can expect to cut their first teeth around six months, these are usually the lower two. Followed by the upper two at around nine months."

Up until recently,  Freddy's was a text book teether. Those first two pearly whites at the bottom arrived in the most understated fashion and at exactly the 'right' time. He had a slightly rosy cheek the night before and a few tears before they peeped through to make my baby’s smile that bit cheekier.

"That’s my boy," I thought, never one to make a fuss.

He may look happy now... [Copyright: Yahoo]
He may look happy now... [Copyright: Yahoo]

But once the next two – the big front ones – started their descent, things changed. As they started pushing through, I entered the most appalling period of babyhood that I am yet to encounter.

Teething is painful, teething is agony, teething is relentless. And that's just for me.

The tooth fairly shouldn’t just reserve her services for their departure, she should be doling out rewards for their arrival too. That’s where the real hard graft comes in.

Night feeds tend to get all the bad press when the real verbal vitriol should be saved up solely for teething. Teething stole my placid, laughing baby and replaced him with a fog horn.

For 24 hours Freddy was gripped by flu like symptoms - his nose streaming and temperature soaring - and never tired of letting the world know about his pain, right into my ear as I tried my damnest to soothe him. He’d never looked so poorly or cried so hard.

Nothing hurts more than seeing my son in pain. [Copyright: Yahoo]
Nothing hurts more than seeing my son in pain. [Copyright: Yahoo]

At one point I was convinced that these symptoms couldn’t just be down to teething and seriously considered rushing him to A&E. A reassuring phone call from my mother was the only thing that managed to convince me otherwise. Apparently, teething pain is akin to adult wisdom teeth coming through, so it’s hardly going to occur without a bit of commotion.

That night, after a day of whimpering and sniveling, he slept roughly 15 minutes of out every hour - the other 45 spent wailing in agony. It was during this nocturnal marathon that I felt at the lowest ebb of my ten months of motherhood.

This was rock bottom, I thought, as I watched the sun rise - Freddy screaming for the ninth consecutive hour.

Any tips for soothing teething pains? [Copyright: Yahoo]
Any tips for soothing teething pains? [Copyright: Yahoo]

At around 6am, I couldn't fight it anymore and fell asleep with him in my arms, dreaming the car alarm had gone off. I woke feeling guilty that I had left my baby to cry out in pain (and fell asleep with him in my arms) and convinced I was the only mother who could possibly sleep through her babies’ cries.

Just as my hope was wearing thin and I was on the cusp of serious self loathing and running out of paracetomol for my headache, something switched. Switched off the volume, that is.

That morning, two tiny pearly whites appeared, little crowns in.

Until we meet again, teething devil.

[Alternative Baby Milestones That Pretty Much Every Parent Experiences]

[Teething Baby? 12 Brilliant Ways To Soothe Your Baby's Gums]