Baby Blog: Struggling To Discover The Weaning Of Life

Have you ever noticed that you can never see the floor in photos of babies eating? That’s because it’s hidden under two inches of food that didn’t make it into the child’s mouth.

This weaning business – it’s mucky. And me, I like things clean. That’s just the way I am. So it's safe to say that it's all making me a little anxious. OK, a lot anxious.

If you flick to the chapter on weaning in your baby book, it’s all beaming babies sitting tall in their highchairs, carrot in hand.

I can only assume the authors of such books thought that images of mums crawling around on the floor while the baby has his own one-man food fight might put people off having children.

Fake It To Make It
Don't get me wrong, there are some benefits to weaning. For example, I've become a brilliant actress.

When weaning, you must smile at all times like a culinary court jester or else risk your child cottoning on the fact that you don’t like broccoli either.

You must grin your way through the whole episode even when you get carrot chucked on your new white jeans (lessen to be learned here: NEVER wear anything white when you have a baby).

But the unpredictability of it all isn't so fun. Some days, my son will wolf down everything and anything put in front of him, other days he goes on hunger strike, clamping his mouth closed as if I have offered him a chunk of dishwasher tablet.

This means I couldn’t possibly say whether Freddy's a picky eater or a good one. What he loves on Monday, he can flat out refuse and spit out on Tuesday.

And then there was the week that he refused to eat anything other than Cow and Gate egg custard… The less said about that the better.

A Little Bit Of Encouragement
The general advice handed out is do not force babies to eat. If you do, they will form bad food associations and end up at The Priory with an eating disorder. Well, probably not but it could all go wrong.

However, the line is somewhat blurred when it comes to coaxing, encouraging, morphing into cheerleaders in the hope that they eat.

Fast forward twenty years and hopefully Freddy isn’t muttering, ‘It all started when my mother would put on the voice of The Terminator while Nanny did jumping jacks to distract me…’ to his therapist and I’ll eat my words (no pun intended).

When Freddy is having a good eating day, I'm amazed at what he manages to chomp through. He might only have two teeth but he definitely knows how to use them.

While on holiday recently, he even managed a calamari ring.

A side effect of this is that food envy is fast becoming a problem. He wants everything that isn’t his. Even if that's Grandad’s pint of beer. In fact, that’s how he ended up with the calamari ring.

Don't Panic
You should probably know that you'll spend the time you aren’t worrying about how little your baby's eaten wondering if he or she's going to choke.

The first time this happens you'll be traumatised, but rest assured it’s nothing a thump on the back won’t solve.

And don't believe the conspiracy – weaning will not necessarily make your baby sleep through the night. It hasn’t for mine and he eats the same as a large baby elephant. Well, every other day at least.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy a sleeved bib. For me.
 
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