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Sarah and Ben on their wedding day.While most of coupledom whisper sweet nothings and pay extortionate prices for dinner, for Sarah Whelan and her husband, Valentine's Day will be all about two other important people in their lives. Both Sarah's mother Sue, 56, and Ben's mother Anne, 64 celebrate their birthdays on 14 February. The full-time mum met Ben, who works for an accident repairs company, nine years ago and they have two children Rose, 6 and Oliver, 3. They got married last year.
Sarah, 32, says: “People showing their love for one another is great. But why should we be forced into it one day a year? Being with our mums on that day is much more important to us. You can be romantic any night, but birthdays are special. We have very close family.”
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Why I said no to Valentine's
“Ever since I've been aware of it, it has been about mum. Waking up, giving her a present and a card, making a cake. I was later than most people when I realised what it was all about. At school when other girls were getting cards from secret admirers, I never got anything.“I had two long-term relationships before I met my husband. They were both in the army and were away, so we weren't together on Valentine's Day. When I was single I did always hope, and wonder if anything would turn up, it never does though does it?”
Both Sarah's father, and Ben's mother work for local florists – and come the busiest day of the year, despite not celebrating themselves, the pair are called to help out.Says Sarah: “My dad works part time as a delivery driver and they take on extra drivers for Valentine's Day because they get so many orders. For the last few years I have worked for them on the day. It's a busy day. Ben has also been a driver for his mum's shop.
“When you see some of the bouquets you do get a bit jealous. People go really over the top. I sometimes wish my husband would do that for me, but I'd be mad with him if he spent that kind of money on a balloon and some flowers.
“I prefer to receive flowers on a day when he hasn't been pushed into it, when it's just completely spontaneous. If you're expecting them it's not the same”.How we keep the spark alive
“We are not romantic compared to some. He says I love you enough, not too much, not too little.I don't think I am missing out. I am romantic but I don't like to go over the top though, especially if you don't feel like you're getting it back.
“I've always enjoyed being in relationships. Although I am independent I much prefer being with somebody. I like the idea of romance, the knight in shining armour, all of that.”
[Relevant: What to get your man for Valentine's Day]
“I had a plan when I was about 16 that I was going to get married at 25 and have my first baby at 26, and I just did it slightly the other way around. We discussed marriage a lot, especially after we had Oliver. I waited a long time for him to ask me.“We went shopping for the ring together, after he had said 'I want to ask you, but how am I supposed to ask you if I don't have a ring?' He didn't want to get it wrong. That's why he was delaying it so long. Ten months after we bought it, he proposed. I didn't care how he asked, I just wanted the question! My Wedding day was the day it all came together.”
A right royal engagement
The couple shares their anniversary with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Sarah says: “When Ben told me they had made announcement, I just knew it was going to be our date. Some people felt that there would be a major panic, but I didn't feel like that at all. Everyone was in such a great mood.
“I doubt our anniversary will compare to Will's and Kate's – we'll have less security issues to start with. We won't have to inform any MI5 or anything!”
“Valentine's Day puts pressure on people. It's awful for single people because they can feel even more alone. And if you're in a couple, you go to work and the first thing people ask is 'What did you get?' 'What did he get you?' If he hasn't got you anything it's embarrassing. But it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.”Are you an old romantic or do you give Valentine's Day the slip? Do you splash out on expensive gifts for your loved one, or have you been known to forget to buy a card? Do you think Valentine's Day too commercial?
A simple but special Valentine's Day meal
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