When our first child was born, everything was new, every memory captured and moment cherished. We were like babies ourselves, discovering things for the first time, delighting in every tractor or choo choo that blurred past, a bit like the years really.
Roll on three years and we welcomed our second son to the family. It had been a much easier pregnancy and a dream drug-free birth that allowed me to bond with him easily.
But this time, things were different. It wasn't all quite so new any more, we didn't seem to have the time to take quite so many photos, I made no records of first words or first steps - now I had two children to look after I just didn't have the time.
Everyone had warned us about jealousy from our older child towards our baby, but the reality was that it was our youngest child who was full of anger. He seemed to be resentful of any attention given to his elder brother and shouted a loud, "NO" every time I cuddled his "rival".
We also noticed as he got older a degree of aggressive behaviour towards his brother - on one such occasion there were teeth marks left on my older son's scalp. This baby was no wall flower, he was a force to be reckoned with.
This led me to start worrying about "second child syndrome". It seems that it is quite common for the second child to feel that they are not as important as the first child and to demonstrate quite challenging behaviour, which can often seem to be pushing the parents away. In reality, the more a child shows a detachment from their parents, the more love, affection and attention they actually need.
On the plus side, it can be great being the second child. You always have a sibling there to share experiences with or play with. As parents you know what you're doing the second time around and feel more confident in your decisions. The house is much more "child friendly" and of course the toys are all already there!
As a second child myself I always enjoyed seeing my brother go through things before me, and I could learn from his experiences and felt a lot more in the know about my future and the choices I had to make. Now I love turning to my big brother for help, support and advice.
It's important to remember that your second child isn't a replica of your first, they are an individual in their own right and will have their own character traits and temperament. If something worked with your first child there is no guarantee it will work with your second. Just remember that when they are grown up, most people treasure having a sibling to turn to and as a constant in their lives. That is worth a few play fights and tantrums.
