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New Mummy blog: Choosing the right midwife is key

Our first-time-mum writer is already looking back at her pregnancy and how finding the right midwife made everything better.

It’s been three months since Honor arrived and they’ve passed in a blur of blissful baby cuddles, long evenings of colic and enough dirty nappies to last a lifetime. Our crinkly little alien-like newborn is now a fully-fledged little person, plump and gorgeous, smiling, cooing and rolling.

These first twelve weeks are often referred to as the fourth trimester, and having witnessed the way a baby grows, develops and learns in this time, it’s easy to understand why.

It feels now like we’re entering a new stage – our little one isn’t a newborn any more and it’s making me nostalgic for those early days, and surprisingly, for pregnancy too.

Surprising because, whilst thankfully free from any medical issues or serious complications, my pregnancy wasn’t the easiest, I didn’t ‘glow’: I suffered terribly with morning sickness day and night well into my seventh month; I became enormous, down to water retention as much as baby bump; and I struggled with back pain. It was exhausting.

The thing that made my pregnancy much easier in the latter months was the incredible care I received from my midwives.

I started my antenatal care in London, in a busy hospital that felt big and impersonal.  I saw a different midwife every time and often felt more like a number than a name. I didn’t have a problem with that, in fact it didn’t even occur to me it could be any other way, and the care I received was perfectly fine, as long as I had a good book on me to fill the waiting times, which could stretch to hours.

[New Mummy blog: And so it all begins]
[New Mummy blog: The best baby ever, of course…]


But part way through my pregnancy we moved from London to East Sussex and I opted to transfer not to another hospital but to Crowborough Birthing Centre, a small, midwife-led unit. With this move my antenatal care was transformed.

The centre was small and friendly. The midwives knew me, my name and my story. Although of course understaffed and overworked, they didn’t ever rush me and always did everything they could to reassure, advise and allay fears.

Birthing centres are not for everyone. There are no doctors there, which means if any complications arise during labour, you have to be transferred to hospital. I was comfortable with this, others may not be. It also means no c-sections, no epidurals, and minimal intervention.

My gas-and-air water birth went perfectly to plan, so thankfully had no reason to test the transfer. But I know others who did start off at the centre but needed to be transferred part way through. More often than not, once their baby arrived safely, they chose to return to the centre for the rest of their postnatal stay until they were ready to go home.

I don’t blame them. The centre didn’t feel (or smell) like a hospital. It seemed a much cosier place, more suited to a baby’s first hours and days than a hospital ward.

Honor and I had a three-bed room to ourselves, where we had peace and quiet to get to know each other. The midwives popped by for a chat every now and then, and were always at the end of the hall the rest of the time. We were encouraged to stay for as long as we liked after Honor was born, and apparently women often do decide to stay a number of days (especially if they have other children at home -  it gives them a chance to rest) but I was eager to get home to start our life together so left after one night. In a way, I was sad to leave – they’d been so welcoming, helpful and caring.

[Tips for busy mornings with a toddler]
[How can I tell what my baby wants?]


I hope very much that if and when I have another child, I am able to do so there. But sadly it's looking less and less likely. Due to cuts and shortages, the centre is under threat of closure. If that were to happen it really would be a terrible shame. If I had my way, all maternity care would head in this direction, not away from it. Surely the more warm and welcoming, and the less clinical and impersonal, the better for mum and for baby? I was very lucky to have found such a positive place to have Honor, I’d hate for others not to have this choice too.