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Mum Diary: That awkward moment when you forget you can’t sing

Thanks to the ‘mum bubble’ I’ve been singing for strangers…



I can’t sing. I’ve known this since childhood; I forget the tune, I change the words and I am completely tone deaf.

Yet since having children, I’ve sort of forgotten this obvious fact. For two-and-a-half years my eldest son has listened in rapture to my off-key warbling, and begged for songs like other children beg for sweets.

Harry likes songs with breakfast, songs on long walks and songs while he has a bath. Then he wants about eight songs before bed at night. I don’t mind, of course - those are some of my favourite motherhood moments, the boys fresh out of the bath and in their pyjamas as we curl up on the sofa to sing tunelessly.

But you can’t sing every single day to children who listen with such delight without developing some seriously misplaced confidence.

[Alternative lullabies helped my baby to sleep]
[Sleeping tips for baby from mum to mum]

However, I do mostly remember that I can’t actually sing and I would never sing in public. Not deliberately anyway. The trouble is that when I am out with the boys I exist in a sort of mum bubble. I am so busy stopping Harry running into the road, or checking he hasn’t covered Baby Olly’s face, or answering questions like ‘why does upstairs go on top?’ that I only really concentrate on my children.

Sometimes this means I’m accidentally rude; I ignore a friend or block a doorway because I simply don’t have the time to notice. But sometimes this means I simply forget that other people are around and start to sing.



This was especially painful when I took the boys blackberrying this week. We’d tried fruit picking at a farm the previous week, but Harry ate so many berries that I had to make a shamefaced confession and pay a donation – none of the fruit we picked made it as far as the farm shop till.

So on a brisk autumnal afternoon, I decided we’d try again. This time I’d learned my lesson and took the boys down to the fields to pick blackberries for free. Quite soon I had purple hands and Harry had a purple face – I think he was nibbling them off the bushes like a bird.

Baby Olly found blackberrying pretty dull, since all he could do was sit in his buggy and watch us. So to stop him crying, I began to sing and dance as I picked.

[Your baby’s first day in the world]
[How to bond with your baby]


I pepped up ‘The Muffin Man’ with some BeeGees-esque high notes, doing ‘Stayin’ Alive’-style disco hand movements as I reached for the top berries. Olly thought this was hysterical, giving me several minutes of uninterrupted fruit picking.

Sadly, when I eventually turned around I discovered that my baby wasn’t the only one laughing at me. Two kids on their way home from school were staring at me with the withering contempt that only teenagers manage. A dog walker had the grace to pretend he was yawning but I could see his laughter.


 
I’d like to say the blackberry and apple crumble made it all worthwhile, but I’m not sure it did.

And it’s not just singing. Motherhood has changed my behaviours in subtle ways and I have habits I can’t snap out of. I went to the supermarket without the boys the other day. While queuing to pay, I realised I had balanced the watermelon on my hip like a baby and I was absentmindedly rocking and jiggling it.

Not only that, but if I drop things or bump into someone, I automatically say “Whoopsie!” in a loud cheery voice. I can’t help it. That makes perfect sense when I have a two-year-old and a five-month old in tow, but when I’m out by myself it makes people look either nervous or pitying.

I really hope I grow out of these habits, at least before my adoring boys have become scathing 15-year-olds themselves.
 
What are your mum habits? Do you suffer from the ‘mum bubble’? Tell me your experiences using the comments below.

Read more from Mum Diarist Felicity Hannah:

Mum Diary: I'm a self-confessed 'sharent'

Mum Diary: I can't wait to embarrass my children too!
Mum Diary: I was mistaken for a perfect parent!
Mum Diary: Why are mums always late? It's took an hour to get my two in the car...
Mum Diary: Should I just ditch my parenting self-help books?