Being a new parent is daunting. You want to get everything as perfect as you can, without seeming as though the possibility of caring for another human being is at all overwhelming.
Well it is. Embrace it! Advice will come from every direction, and I'm sure you'll receive many gifts from well wishers, but just a heads up; as much as those around you swear by the below three products, do not buy them! All they will do, is take up room, gather dust, and remind you of the money that you wasted.
Top and tail bowl
Why the top and tail bowl was invented, I struggle to understand. I assume that they pre-date to a time when everyone would bath in the living room because houses at that time didn't have bathrooms in them.
Fortunately we now all have bathrooms, and in our bathrooms, we have a bath. A bath rest for the early months is a great alternative to throwing your money down the drain, and when your baby eventually grows out of this, a bath seat will see them through until they are able to sit unaided.
This one does seem like a good idea when you're presented with it in the shop. A bin for nappies makes total sense. You can keep the nappies separate from your normal rubbish, which will keep the stink away from the kitchen. Yeah, this sounds like a good idea.
STOP. The nappy bin will make your whole house stink. The whole of it. Nowhere will be safe. And as you enter the room where the nappy bin resides, you will be hit with a wall of stench so bad, that it will make you cry. And that's just a day's worth of nappies.
A much simpler alternative to the nappy bin, is a bin.
You may get a few months out of a baby carrier, but after a while, carrying a baby everywhere you go is really tiring and, let's face it, you've been doing that for nine months; time for a break.
Even more useless than a baby carrier is the fabric sling. It's a nice idea; we've all seen the episode of desperate housewives where Gabrielle is doing yoga while her baby sleeps snugly in the sling that she has successfully wrapped around her.
THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
Firstly, you won't even be able to get the thing on. Secondly, if you do manage to somehow attach the sling to your body correctly, then trying to insert your baby is like watching a drunk person on tightrope; you just know that something bad is going to happen at any moment that will result in pain and possibly a hospital visit.