How to tell if your partner is lying to you

She says she was out with her friends for drinks, but one of them called the house asking for her. So, was she lying? How do you decode your partner’s lie?

If you are worried that their words are sending mixed messages, then it's time to look for other signals – namely what your partner’s body is telling you.

So if you want to know where she really was last night (or how much he really spent on that TV), the most telling signs are expressed through a person’s body language, according to Richard Newman.

The body language expert shared tips with Yahoo! Lifestyle on how to detect whether someone is lying.

Following his research into Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) he has trained more than 6,500 people from 29 countries on the effective use of body language and how to read its signs in everyday life.

[See also: How to avoid the descent into girlfriend psychosis]

Newman said: "The best way to know if someone is lying is to notice the presence of the abnormal and absence of the normal."

"There is no such thing as a lie detection signal, what you should be looking for are signs of stress, anxiety or pressure."

He suggests that you should set the right tone before you go in with your investigation. "Be sure to establish a baseline," Newman proposed. "Don’t jump into a conversation throwing accusations, make the person you want to question feel at ease."

Newman believes this will help to identify the significant change in their appearance.

Once you’ve got them calm and composed, these are the signals you should look for:

Blinking – Lots of eye movement can also serve as a reliable sign that someone’s lying. The average person blinks once every 10 seconds, so if you spot rapid blinking, it’s likely that there is a lot of rapid thinking (and possibly deceit) going on. 

Hand to face touching – The higher the level of hand movement around the face, the higher the level of anxiety. "We are naturally designed to tell the truth," Newman said. So any way in which the hands are raised to block a part of the body, suggests that person is trying to stop the lie from coming out.

Unusual stillness or tension – The opposite of darting eyes is a fixed, blank stare which indicates a dishonest response as well. It is common for liars to make a special effort to not move their eyes in order to be convincing.

You might be suspicious if someone is extremely fidgety and think that they were lying but it’s completely normal to move about. What isn’t normal is talking to someone looking like a statue.

Tip: Do not approach someone when they are busy, it is too easy for them to hide their reactions and avoid showing their body language when they are engrossed in the task at hand.  

These pointers won’t necessarily turn you into a human lie detector - but being able to read someone’s body language can offer you some reassurance if you ever feel suspicious.

You can find out more info about Richard Newman and his work over at UK Body Talk.

Read between the lines with Patrick Jane in the TV drama, The Mentalist Season 3 on DVD and Blu-ray courtesy of Warner Home Video, 10th October.

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