Advertisement

Would you go halves to afford a pricier engagement ring?

Rise in the number of couples going dutch on engagement rings for financial fairness

Marriage is modernising. Your finance is no longer expected to ask your dad for your hand (unless he really wants to), bridal party members make speeches as well as the menfolk, and it's rare to hear the old-fashion vow promising to 'obey thy husband'.

But some potentially sexist traditions take longer to break down, especially the one that involves you getting a gorgeous, sparkly ring for free (except for, you know, promising to share the rest of your life with the person presenting it to you).



But it seems times are a-changing. According to a mini-survey by The Knot on Facebook, couples are increasingly likely to share the cost of the engagement ring.

Samantha Daniels, a professional matchmaker (whatever one of those is) and founder of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, said she's recently seen more couples paying jointly for the ring.


[The most adorable marriage proposal ever?]

[Why the third year of marriage is the happiest (but watch out for the fifth)]


She told Today.com: “Today, because both the man and woman earn money and contribute to the financials and the decision-making, it’s not surprising that both of them are involved in all aspects [of choosing and paying for the ring].

“I think it makes for a better connection between the two people.”



Nowadays, 75 per cent of proposals come with some fingerwear, but until recent generations, most women didn’t have an engagement ring because they and their fiancés couldn’t afford one. And back then, when you couldn’t afford something you couldn’t have it.

Of course, now, there are credit cards.

The first recorded use of the ring was as a rope that was literally tied on to the man’s property – the woman. After that, the ancient use of rings is thought to have begun with the Romans, who used them as a symbol of property and often exchanged a ring from husband to father to signify the transferring of ownership.


[Five worst proposals (and what to avoid)]

[Your essential wedding checklist]


However, modern engagement rings are traced back to 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Hamburg presented his fiancé with a whacking great diamond. Not many people at the time could afford something like that though, so it was generally royalty and lords than went in for it.

But as wages grew and more diamond sources emerged, prices fell and the tradition developed. It became a way the hopeful groom could prove that he was financially capable of supporting a wife, for providing for her. And it became a way of symbolising that a woman was “taken”.



Plus, who can forget the De Beers  advertising campaign that made diamonds the symbol of betrothal?

Now, we have incredible celebrity engagement rings to covert and it's no surprise that women are wising up to the fact that if they pay for half of the ring, they can have a bling-ier model, and not bankrupt their partner in the process.

But it seems for the time being, the majority of women can expect a ring to be bought for them. A poll on Today.com found that of almost 13,000 people who voted, 56 per cent think the person doing the asking should also do the buying.

What would you/did you do? Tell us over on Twitter.