How parents and children can make the most of modern technology safely

The majority of UK parents can't keep up with their children's technology use and more than half of us turn to our kids to help us do basic hi-tech tasks such as downloading music.

In a survey by online parenting and technology community Quib.ly, two thirds of parents said they found it difficult to keep up with their children and teen's online activities, but more than half still monitor their internet use closely.

As our children have grown up never knowing what it's like not the have email, it's hardly surprising that their technical know-how far outstrips that of their mums and dads. But it's important for all families to have a good understanding of apps, social media and other online technology.

We asked Quib.ly co-founder and editor Holly Seddon for her top advice for parents to get on top of their children's technology use - and make the most of it for the whole family.

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"The vast majority of parents are probably more tech savvy than they think," Holly reassures us.

"They use technology in their day to day lives, in the office, using business platforms or email; and they probably have smartphones.

"It’s just that children use them differently – more instinctively, more playfully. And they're far happier try things and explore just in other parts of life, which can feel daunting as a parent.

"Older generations are much more rigid about how they use technology. For example, my daughter's smartphone is full of games and apps she uses for fun, while mine is really just used for email and essentials."

Holly continues: "We that didn’t grow up with these tools. When we got email many of us treated it like an electronic letter - using the same format as a formal, written letter. But kids use emails so differently - they were born into a world with email and don't see it any differently to just yelling downstairs to ask for something - which seems quite rude to me!"

"But even though there is this gap, I can reassure parents that they can guide and and shape their children's use of these tools and make sure they're using them safely.

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Start the conversation

"The most important advice I can give is talk to your children. It's the same as anything - technology, health, road safety - communication is vital. And you'll find that your children are happy to help fill in the gap in your knowledge. Make sure it's a conversation and listen to what they're doing and what they think of it.

"With my boys, who are five and 10, they play Xbox together and it's daunting for me because they have their own lingo, in-jokes and it's not my world. But if I go over and pay attention and ask questions, they're really happy that I'm interested in their games and tell me all about them.

"You might not be an expert at gaming, but you are at parenting. It's just a case of talking to your child about basic common sense, such as not giving away personal info online."

What parents need to know

"I think it's crucial to understand technology and social media – because every new online platform has some element of social interaction and even if you personally don't care about Facebook or would never sign up to Twitter, the minute your child has a smartphone, he or she will, so you need to know what it's all about.

"It's also good to know what other apps your child is using. Everyone knows about the big ones but there are chat apps such as Kick Messenger that are easy to download and widely used you might not have heard of.

"And they're not as traceable as Facebook, say, so you need to talk to your child about how they're using them and make sure they're being safe.

"Don't ban anything outright - that make them want to use it more."

Asking for help

"Most parents ask their children for help with some technology and that's fine. But with some functions it makes sense for parents to get a handle on it themselves. Things like parental blocks online, for example - it shouldn’t be up to the children to monitor themselves.

"It's worth putting in the time to understand new technology, apps and websites, rather than being afraid to tackle it or feeling too disinterested. If you don’t speak the language your children are speaking you’re missing out. We live in a very, very technological world and many of these tools are everywhere so we don’t even see them as 'technology' any more. 

"Younger and younger children have access to technology that's becoming ever smarter and if you don't make the effort to keep up it will reduce what you understand about your children's activities and lives.

"But not only that. We should be keeping up with these things for our own development as an adult. Today’s parents are in their 30s 40s 50s and have decades of working life left. If they don’t get in touch with tech they’ll lose out on opportunities themselves and might not be able to help their children grab onto any that come their way."

You can find answers to common questions from parents and share your thoughts and concerns at Quib.ly.