How to tell if you’re on a date
Dear Lady and the Scamp,
I have been on two outings with a young, carefree girl from uni who is 10 years younger than me (I'm 30). First we went just for a coffee. She laughed at all my jokes and agreed with everything I said, she even invited me to do some meditation together. After our second outing, we became Facebook friends and to my surprise, she posted pictures of her kissing lots of men. She might have some other admirers and who are younger and fitter than me (I am fat but humorous, joyful and sociable) but I'm too old for games. How do I tell her I like her? And how can I tell if she really likes me?
Eddie
Kevin says:
Well it's no surprise she agreed to a second "outing" after you wooed her with your humour, joy and sociability, but maybe this means she just likes you as a friend. Think about it: you're fat and in your thirties, whereas she is a carefree minx with dudes queuing up to give her a snog.
But I could be wrong. Were they actually dates that you went on, or just friendly chats? That's a key point. If a girl goes on two dates with a man and then exchanges Facebook details with him, she is definitely interested in him romantically. Plus the meditation invite is promising - unless she is in a cult?
And you can't pay too much attention to someone's Facebook page. I once wrote a status update that I found tiger's penises attractive but it's not true, it wasn't even me that wrote it. I haven't even looked at a tiger's penis before, not properly. So this kissing you've seen could just be innocent japes. You're better off judging her on what you see in real life, although that doesn't sound too promising either… do you really want a girl who agrees with everything you say and laughs at all your jokes? I know you're humorous Eddie, but surely you can't nail every gag.
To answer your question, you can express your interest in the normal way: get drunk and try to get off with her. Or the sensible way: clarify that she fancies you by asking her out on an official "date". If she laughs in your face, it means she only sees you as a friend. Or you've just told a joke.
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Christine says:
What are your chances Eddie? That's like asking how long is a piece of string or how long does meditation go on for? Des O'Connor and Bruce Forsyth haven't let an age gap get in the way so why should you? It's about confidence so your first step is to stop stressing about her Facebook photos. Facebook is an unrealistic representation of someone's life. It's all parties, smiling and skiing. She's young and out having fun so why shouldn't she have some pictures of her 'kissing' men on there. How can you tell from a photo if she's kissing her brother, a lover, or a mate? You can't really. Anyway, you're not her boyfriend (yet) so it isn't really any of your business.
How do you tell if she likes you? Well if you are expecting an answer like 'if she touches her face when talking to you or plays with her hair, she likes you' then you're out of luck. Human beings aren't that simple and unless you're a body language expert it's not a reliable indicator. She might just have an itchy face or her hair's accidentally gone in her dinner and she's trying to get the mashed potato out of it.
On the upside women are programmed to like men older than them. Older men are calmer, more reliable, more experienced and more financially stable. But it can be difficult in terms of common ground and shared knowledge. You'll be going on about Les Dawson and she'll think it's someone out of Hollyoaks. Describing yourself as 'fat' doesn't immediately bode well so stop that, but women are less visually motivated than men. Besides, we've been known to love a guy who drives a paunch.
Stop messing about and do something decisive. Invite her for dinner or something grown up that sounds like a date. If she accepts, that's a good sign. Many men have got the women of their dreams, not by looking like George Clooney but by being a brilliant, funny, attentive, confident guy. If not, leave the meditation and take up hypnotism.
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