Dear Lady and The Scamp,
It's the' I am a size 14' girl. My boyfriend recently broke up with me and now he is with a skinny woman, which made me ask myself, 'Does dress size really matter?' I would be happy with my weight if I wasn't constantly reminded that women are skinnier than me and they get the guys. I don't think of myself as fat but I feel ashamed to wear nice clothing because I just want to take it off and give it to someone that looks nicer. Many men I know are at a 50/50 balance with: 'I like women with curves' and 'She is carrying some weight'. I don't want to look desperate but I can't be sitting in the corner without being noticed.
Jade
Kevin says:
It's the age-old question: curvy or skinny, what do men prefer? But of course, there is no definitive answer. You're right to say there's an even split. While some guys dodge the podge, others are thoroughly turned off by the supermodel physique. And this breadth of tastes is what allows humanity to thrive.
You can't be everyone's cup of tea. I am short and ginger and there are plenty of girls who would — and do - rule me out as a sexual partner on that basis. But others don't, so I just have sex with them instead.
Granted, I don't have as extensive a pool of women to choose from as tall, dark and handsome types, like Eammon Holmes. But there are still a few million girls out there who will let me touch them, and the same goes for you.
As long as you don't get depressed and start eating KFC boneless banquets for breakfast and turn into a big fatty, you have nothing to worry about, let alone be ashamed of. Marilyn Monroe was a size 16, as my ex-girlfriend used to constantly remind me.
So you shouldn't feel the need to take your nice clothes off and give them to a skinnier girl. Although funnily enough, that would be guaranteed to get you noticed...
*And just for the record, my ex wasn't a size 16. I would never go out with anyone that fat.
[Relevant: Can you fall in love without physical attraction?]
Christine says:
Men are much more visually driven than women. That's just a fact. They like to look at things: tools, shiny gadgets, Jeremy Clarkson, and women, plus all that goes with them. But that doesn't mean a size zero at all, they much prefer the middle ground, so as long as you haven't let your middle ground get too out of a control, you'll be fine. Super skinny boney maroney is not something most men like, but neither is not being able to go up an escalator without a sit down break and an oxygen tank. Although even at the other end of the scales, you only have to go to some very specific websites to see there's lots of men who can't get enough of the absolutely flabulous.
If humans didn't have an infinite amount of tastes then only the generically 'beautiful' would get laid and the human race would die out as they'd be too busy looking in the mirror to remember they'd left their baby on the bus. So Mother Nature has engineered it so that this is definitely not the case, women with boobs and hips will always be in biological favour and men are nothing if not driven by nature's viagra.
Besides you're still young and young lads often pick girls that they think their mates might be impressed by, because they're idiots and watch too much MTV Base. They soon grow out of that and realise they would much rather have a girlfriend they can laugh with and isn't obsessed with carbs. If you're worried clothes aren't hanging well on you then get some ones that do or tone up a bit with an exercise DVD of someone who used to be in Coronation Street. It's a Gok Wan cliché but it really is 'all about the confidence'. Work out what your best assets are, then get those assets displayed like a Debenhams Christmas window. They'll soon come flocking and if they don't, at least you can have a kebab on the way home.
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